Magic of Leftovers

When I was a young, growing up in the restaurant business I never had leftovers. I ate fresh, to order food for every meal, everyday. When I got older and moved in with my ex I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything that was leftover. He would eat things that sat in the fridge for a week. My current husband is the same way and they both think I'm crazy.

Once I started buying organic food I had a change of heart. The darn stuff is so expensive that I don't want to throw anything away. Slowly but surely I got used to the idea of eating day old food and now I can even make it to 3 days! Pretty amazing huh?

So today my lunch was quite a strange combination of things I found in the fridge. It was a nice lunch and it was surprisingly tasty. I took some romaine lettuce and red cabbage. I used 1/2 an avocado and some leftover marinara for the dressing. Then I topped it with my leftover rice from yesterday. It's not in the picture but I sliced up some olives and that made it really good.

For my afternoon dinner I had nori rolls again. It's funny, they were good but not as good as they were the other day. How is that possible? I ate them at my son's baseball game in the bleachers.

When I got home I made an avocado, tomato, spinach, onion sandwich on the bread I made in the dehydrator. It was really good. I enjoyed it so much. I should have taken more pictures but honestly I don't think about it at night. It is usually my lunch that gets photographed.

I was planning on making a big Mediterranean meal for tomorrow with hummus, falafel, tabbouleh and tzatziki but I am not sure if I will be able to. My little guy is off school and the others have a half day. I am going to yoga in the morning and then to the movies with them. Then I have 2 baseball games and a volleyball game to try and watch all around the same time. Doesn't leave much time for fun in the kitchen. We'll see how I feel tonight. Maybe I can get some of it done. If not, I will have something else. Who knows what it will be.

Uncovering the Monster

Last night after I recorded my audio file I was still not tired so I stayed up a while and surfed the net. As I was about to shut down the computer I found a response to my audio up on Utterz. It was from a man named Brett. Here is a part of what he said:

It sounds as if you are denying a part of yourself. The alcohol or situation might let this denied part of you out from time to time.

Maybe you should try and learn how to be yourself, without harming other people with your words or without harming yourself with food or drink or smoke.

As I was lying there I kept turning it over and over in my head..."It sounds like you are denying a part of yourself" ...well I knew that to be true so many times before. There are all kinds of parts of me that I find from time to time that have been buried. Then I started thinking, what is this sleeping monster? Then I decided the time was right to meet this monster and to face it head on once and for all. I asked the question again, who is this monster?

I was bracing myself for the worst, ugliest part of me to appear there and to my surprise instead I saw a sad little girl standing there. It was obviously me as a child. I was so thin, slumped and deflated. My eyes were so sad and empty and I was looking down. I started crying when this vision entered my mind. It wasn't an ugly monster that was driving this behavior, it was a needy and sad little girl.

So I cried a while at the discovery and then I asked the little girl what it was that she needed. What was missing for her. Without going into personal details I will tell you that the little girl needed to talk to someone in her life about feelings of abandonment. She needed to understand why she felt so unloved, unimportant and alone. She needed to see FROM HER EYES that she was never alone, never unimportant, and never unloved. She needed to understand why adults in her life had done the things they had, to understand that they were lonely, sad, and felt unimportant themselves and that it wasn't her fault.

She needed to release herself from this heaviness that was weighing her down, to cut the unhealthy ties she had to this situation, to forgive those involved and to realize her true light and her true essence. It was a very powerful process and in the end the girl was lit up, glowing and beaming and skipping around with such joy. It was truly beautiful.

At that point I needed to let the current me say what needed to be said to the person involved in this situation. I was shocked at the amount of anger and to be honest, true rage that poured out of me. In this moment I felt as if I was killing this person for all that had been done to that innocent and precious little girl that had made her lose herself. I can't tell you how long I sat in this rage but it felt like an eternity. It just kept coming and coming and moving out of my body. When it finished I was left with a sense of peace and contentment.

I was then moved to feelings of guilt for holding this against the person for all these years. I was sobbing and asking for forgiveness. I was able to forgive the other person and myself for the whole thing and I was left in the arms of someone I never thought I could truly want to hug that way ever again. It was amazing.

Now, is this it? Is this the answer? Am I cured? Ha, I don't think so. I think this is another huge step in my quest for freedom. I know I uncovered some huge emotional ties last night and I know there are more there. I spoke with this person on the phone this morning and I still felt that same level of annoyance that I have in the past. The wall is still there but it has been knocked down a bit. I was able to take out some bricks and soon enough it will fall. It is a process, much like peeling an onion. There are so many layers and I will just keep peeling them away.

The most amazing revalation for me was this idea of the "sleeping monster." Right away I associated the needy part of myself with something horrible, something ugly and something to hide away when in reality it was just this sad and needy little girl. Now I ask you, close your eyes and imagine an ugly monster is driving you. How do you react? Do you run away from it? Do you fight it and slay it? One of those would be our response I suspect.

Now, imagine that the needy part of you is a small child. An innocent, beautiful child who is alone and lost and looking for help. How do you react now? My guess is that you pick up that child, you rock her, cuddle her and love her back to happiness. You embrace her and give her what she needs. Can you see the difference? The power in it?

I don't know what today will bring but I can tell you that the hyperactivity of my mind that was so evident last night has gone. I am feeling like I have slowed down. I feel at peace. I have a bit of anger still bubbling around and I am exhausted but I feel a bit more stable today so I am going forward with a new day, looking forward to loving that little child and grateful for the opportunity to meet my deeper self once again.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I know it went on for quite a while. I should write a big thick novel :o)

The Sleeping Monster

Hi everyone,
I have an audio post for you tonight. You can listen to it on my Utterz player on the right or you can find it here. I would love any feedback you have.

xoMichellexo

Mexican Fiesta

Dinner tonight was delicious. I was so thrilled with it as usual lately. I decided to make this because yesterday my husband was telling me how much he is enjoying eating healthy but that he comes home and ends up eating poorly because it is easier. He said that often he doesn't even feel that good after eating dinner but it's just too hard to make something different.

The problem is that we have such different tastes in food. He wouldn't be caught dead eating nori rolls or much of what I love. He tasted my pate and he didn't like it. I tend to be able to eat what he likes but not the other way around. He loves, loves, loves Mexican food so I know I can make him happy if I serve him up something spicy.

So tonight I made fajita vegetables from The Complete Book of Raw Food . The flavor was really nice, spicy and flavorful and the vegetables were soft but still had a nice bite. I also made a Spanish "Rice" from Gone Raw. This was a little bland but still good.

I ended up putting it into a collard wrap with sliced avocado for a taco. It was messy but good. In end I just ate it by itself. I should have made some tortilla wraps but I didn't think about it until it was too late and I didn't have 6 hours to dehydrate them. Next time.

My husband ended up not liking the "rice". He doesn't like cauliflower so I knew it was a stretch but her put the avocado and vegetables in flour tortillas and he really liked it. He ate it all up. Success! The good thing is that the vegetables are pretty easy to make so I can whip that up easily for him to keep him happy. I will probably make a double batch next time.

Fajita Vegetables
By Chad Sarno

1 1/2 cups thin strips of red bell pepper
1 cup thin strips yellow bell pepper
1 cup thin strips of zucchini
1 TB minced garlic
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
3 TB minced oregano
3 TB lemon juice
3 TB olive oil
1 1/2 TB chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp Celtic sea salt

Toss all ingredients together in a bowl. Marinate for up to 1 hour or dehydrate for 2 hours to soften and warm.

I used Spanish onion instead of yellow bell pepper and I didn't have any fresh oregano so I used dried. The recipe says it serves 6. My husband and I ate the whole thing. Oops!

Spanish Rice
Makes a large bowl. Can easily be halved. Keeps well for a few days.
This recipe is taken from How We All Went Raw by Charles Nungesser and Stephen Malachi

Ingredients
1 head cauliflower, grated in a food processor
4 green onions, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
1 orange bell pepper, diced
1 jalapeno pepper, diced
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
¼ cup cilantro, diced
1 avocado, mashed
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon paprika
½ tablespoon sea salt
¼ cup cold pressed extra virgin olive oil

Mix together well and serve.

I love food!

I have been so thrilled with eating again. Exploring all of the textures and tastes of raw food has been a delight. I am getting back into the swing of things since going off my juice feast. My stomach is feeling better, I am no longer suffering from the energy drain I experienced in the first days after introducing food and I am actually a pretty regular visitor to the bathroom so woo hoo for me!

I had my first meal with seeds yesterday and I have to admit that I felt a bit of an addictive force re-enter my life for the first time. I made the Ginger Almond Pate from Ani Phyo's book, Ani's Raw Food Kitchen but I substituted sunflower seeds for the almonds. I made nori rolls with it. I put spinach, the pate, leftover marinated vegetables and bean sprouts.

OMG, it was seriously so good. I was shoving them in my mouth and I just couldn't stop eating them. I ate two rolls around 4:00 and then I made a third at 6:30 and ate it. As much as I truly enjoyed it I have to say that I don't really like the way I felt like I couldn't stop eating them. In fact, just typing this out has made me want to go make some more nori rolls! I didn't even get a chance to take a picture of them.

I spent the evening planning out a few things I want to make in the next several days and I went shopping for the ingredients today. The photo above is a salad I made with romaine lettuce, broccoli slaw, walnuts, dried cranberries and an orange cucumber dressing from Ani's book. The dressing sounded so good but I found it rather bland and lacking. I have quite a bit leftover so I am hoping as it sits the flavors will intensify and meld to enhance the taste. I love the crunch of the broccoli slaw in a salad though.

I went to an Italian restaurant for dinner with my family on Sunday. When I made the reservation I told them that I had a special diet and I was assured that I would be taken care of. I told the waiter that I only ate raw vegetables and asked if the chef could prepare a salad for me with those ingredients. The chef actually came to the table to talk to me. I told him again what I ate and that I was leaving it up to him to create something wonderful for me.

When my plate came out it looked absolutely beautiful. He had arranged it like a piece of art. Unfortunately it wasn't too exciting in the taste department. He had simply cut up raw zucchini, yellow squash, red pepper, mushrooms and grape tomatoes. That was it. No flavor, no nothing. Luckily I brought 1/2 of an avocado with me which I slathered over it like a dressing. It was fine then.

So overall I am doing fantastic. I am loving food and loving my life. I have such excitement about every meal and I am really excited about heading over to the raw food restaurant for a treat. I am hoping I can get over there in the next week.

For the Love of Broccoli Rabe

I have always had a love affair with this leafy green vegetable. Before I ate raw I would saute it up with some olive oil and garlic with a sprinkle of toasted pine nuts. When I went raw I was so sad that I couldn't enjoy it anymore. Then I found out about massaged kale salad and I skipped the kale and went right to the rapini. I was in heaven. Coming off my juice feast I have been craving this so much I can't stop eating it. In fact I had it for breakfast this morning!

This leafy green has many different names including raab, rapa, rapine, rappi, rappone, fall and spring raab, turnip broccoli, taitcat, Italian or Chinese broccoli, broccoli rape, broccoli de rabe, Italian turnip, and turnip broccoli although it is best known here in the US as broccoli rabe or rapini.

It comes from the Mediterranean and China. I didn't realize that it was so widely used in Chinese cooking. Apparently it is the most popular vegetable in Hong Kong although the Chinese version is said to be lighter green and less bitter in taste. I am most familiar with the Italian style and that is how I eat it.

Although it's name would lead you to believe it is a member of the broccoli family that would be inaccurate. It is actually a decedent of a wild herb and part of the turnip family. It has a nutty, bitter taste rather like mustard greens. It is a source of vitamins A, C, and K, as well as potassium. You can buy it all year long, but its peak season is from fall to spring.

When buying these delicious greens look for bright green leaves that are crisp and not wilted. It will have small broccoli buds that may have yellow flower buds which are edible. Avoid any bunches that have yellowing leaves however.

To prepare the greens for raw dishes you will want to cut off the bottom stems that are tough and discard. Chop the remaining greens and buds up to make them easier to massage. Sprinkle with some good quality Celtic or Himalayan salt and get your hands in there to begin massaging. Of course we all know that the best Italian food is made with love so send your loving thoughts to your greens while you squeeze. You will be surprised at how quickly they will begin to wilt and take on that traditional cooked appearance.

Because some of the stems are thick I prefer to let the broccoli rabe sit out on the counter for a while to marinate and then I let it marinate in the refrigerator overnight. Before eating I either bring it back out onto the counter for a while to take the chill off or I put it in the dehydrator for a bit.

You can keep it simple and just add a bit of good quality cold pressed olive oil and garlic or you can go to town and add all kinds of things like mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, pine nuts, olives, fresh tomatoes, onion, red pepper flakes. Whatever sounds yummy will be.

Fun, Fun, Fun in the Kitchen

What a wonderful day of eating I had today. I woke up around 7:00 and drove my son to school for his baseball game. I headed off to the store to pick up a few things and it was so fun to be able to go into different sections of the produce aisle.

When I got home I started preparing food for the day. It was so fun. First I made a Sweet and Sour Sauce from Snowdrop that I have made before that I think it so delicious.

Sweet and Sour Sesame Sauce
¾ c nama shoyu
¾ c honey (or agave)
2 cloves garlic
1 pc ginger as big as your thumb (equal to the amount of garlic approx)
2 T sesame seeds
2 T coconut oil
1 t sesame oil
2 t red pepper flakes

Chop the garlic & ginger so it doesn’t jam under your blades, and put all into the food processor and blend till the veggies are well pureed. The seeds will float up with the oils when left standing, that’s ok, just stir when using.

I put some broccoli slaw mix, bean sprouts, shitake mushrooms, cilantro, and green onions, in a bowl and mixed them with half of the sauce. I let it sit out on my counter for the day and get nice and soft. When I ate it for dinner later I drained off the liquid and added some more sauce on top. Yum!

Then I made some more of my special Broccoli Rabe.
1 bunch rapini chopped
celtic sea salt
olive oil
2 cloves of garlic minced
4-6 sun dried tomatoes chopped
6 mini portabella musrooms sliced
red onion chopped
1 med tomato chopped

I simply chop up the rapini and massage it with some celtic sea salt. Then I drizzle some olive oil over it. I added the rest of the ingredients and let it sit on the counter for the day. I will then move it into the refrigerator until the next day. You could put it in the dehydrator to warm it instead.

Last but not least I made some marinara sauce from Alissa Cohen's book, Living on Live Food. I love this sauce. It is so delicous and comes together quickly in the food processor. I made some zucchini noodles with my peeler (I have to get the saladacco!!! ), added some spinach that I massaged for a quick minute and some mini portabellas. I mixed the marinara with it and put it aside. I had plenty of marinara left over.

In less than an hour I had 3 meals prepared and ready to go with enough sauce left over to make at least 2 more dishes too! How cool is that? I was very excited.

The only thing I would have done differently is that I would not have mixed the zucchini with the marinara sauce until I was ready to eat it. It released too much water that I had to drain off and it still was a bit watery when I ate it. It still tasted delicious though. I knew about this but I forgot. It's been a while since I made that.


What a great raw day. I am loving food again and enjoying the ease of preparation and planning. I haven't introduced nuts back into my diet yet for a couple of reasons. The number one reason is that my stomach is a bit tender and nuts are harder to digest so I figure I will just wait and see what happens for a while. I am not craving them yet so I will just enjoy life without them for a while.

Fun Friday

I've decided that I will put a little fun thing up on the blog on Fridays and I thought it would be a good way to start off my return to the raw blog. So I have taken Hanlie's lead (as usual) with this fun little game. I was amazed at her answers and how appropriate they were for the questions and lo and behold a lot of mine were too. Pretty cool.

The rules are simple: Hit the shuffle on your iPod, then answer each question by hitting next. No cheating!


Q: What does next year have in store for you?
A: That's Amore - Dean Martin

Q: What does your love life look like next year?
A: Have I told You Lately - Rod Stewart


Q: What do you say when life gets hard?
A: She Hates Me - Puddle of Mud


Q: Song that reminds you of good times?
A: Prayer - Disturbed (um, not really)

Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?
A: You Oughta Know - Alanic Morisette

Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding (or silver wedding anniversary?)
A: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan


Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?
A: Bungle in the Jungle - Jethro Tull


Q: Your favourite saying?
A: That Will Never Do - Otis Rush


Q: Favourite place?
A: Breathe - Faith Hill


Q: Most missed memory?
A: Alive - Pearl Jam


Q: What song describes your best friend?
A: Dance Me to the End of Love - Leonard Cohen


Q: What song decribes your ex?
A: Piece of Pie- Stone Temple Pilots


Q: Where would you go on an important date?
A: Moondance - Van Morrison

Q: Drug of choice?
A: Allison Road - Gin Blossoms

Q: What song describes yourself?
A: Silver Bells- Harry Connick Jr.

Q: What is the thing you like doing most?
A: Into the Wind - Miten with Deva Premal


Q: The song that best describes the President?
A: Throw Yourself Away - Nickleback (Rather appropriate I'd say)

Q: Where will you be in 10 years?
A: Remedy - The Black Crowes

Q: Your love life right now?
A:Praises for the World - Jennifer Berezan/ Chris Webster (ha ha, isn't that cute?)

Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?
A: Warm Love -Van Morrison

Q: How will you die?
A: It's a Long Way to the top - School of Rock (I'll take it)

I only skipped songs that were in another language (Mostly Italian. I have a lot of those).