Michelle's Raw Adventure

Recent Happenings

2008-06-23T23:08:00.003-05:00

Things have been going well for me lately. I am enjoying my time home with my children and the other moms in out little click. We've been having great fun going to the parks, riding bikes, going to movies and watching baseball games. I've been quite busy and I am really loving it.

We've had a few bumps in the road too. My oldest who has been struggling with school and trying to find his identity has begun counseling and has recently decided that it is time to move in with his father. I was a bit surprised that he made that decision and if I am being completely honest I was sad and a bit hurt. I did my best to suck it up and be supportive. He came home for a week to clean up his room and organize things for the little brother he shares a room with and he headed off to his dad's to begin his new life.

I am torn because of course I want my baby to stay home with me but let's be honest, he's about to be 16. He isn't a baby anymore. In 2 years he will be a man. I guess it's time to let go. Also, as much as I hate to say it out loud, it seems the energy in the house is much more relaxing when he is not here. There is a lot less arguing, bickering and negativity. We aren't waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. Maybe he is feeling the same way over at his dad's. We shall see how it all plays out. He will be coming home each Thursday over the summer so he can continue to meet with the counselor who he seems to like.

My youngest little guy had his 6th birthday over the weekend on the same day as my 12th wedding anniversary. We had a lovely day. My husband surprised us by taking us out the the place we were married. We were able to show the kids the exact location of our outdoor wedding (which I am pretty sure they couldn't have cared less about). I loved it. For the little guys we were lucky enough to get a horse drawn wagon ride. We had family over in the evening and had so much fun. Great day!

As far as eating is going I am staying mostly raw with the addition of some fish about once a week. I have been craving it and I can't tell you the joy I am getting out of eating it. I had salmon cooked on the grill on Saturday and I thought I was in heaven. I ate it with a huge salad which is how I eat anything cooked.

I also have been eating tofu about once a week, well probably less than that. I never liked tofu before but suddenly it brings me joy. I love the texture of it. I made it in this stir fry with vegetables and rice noodles. Everyone in my family loved it including me. Yum.

I've been enjoying fruit quite a bit with the change in the seasons. I love, love, love grapes these days and I had the most delicious watermelon over the weekend. I also ate some blueberries that while delicious gave me a blue tongue. I felt like a smurf.

The one thing that I have been eating that I can honestly say has become a bit addictive for me is this chocolate banana bowl that I make. I take raw cacao powder and mix it with agave or raw honey and a little water. It makes a scrumptious chocolate sauce and then I add sliced up bananas, strawberries, coconut, cacao nibs, goji berries etc. Whatever I have. I was having it every once in a while and then it went to every day and now sometimes I have it twice a day. It feels addictive to me.

I know I should try to do a process around it to clear whatever is going on but with the kids home I don't really have that option so I will just wait it out and see how it goes. Soon I will be out of the chocolate powder and I will not be buying anymore! :o)

My son is having his birthday party this weekend. We are having about 20 little boys over between the ages of 5 and 7. They are going to SLEEP OVER in tents in my back yard!!! Can you believe it? It is a bit scary. Wish me luck.

It seems so strange to be out of the loop and off the blog as much as I am but at the same time it feels right so I will keep checking in as time permits. I do miss all of you and I am checking in periodically to see how you all are. Much love to all of you!

What's going on.

2008-06-13T01:48:00.004-05:00

Long time no type everyone. I have been busy living my life and I am still hanging in there. My blood test results came back and everything looked good. I had a ESR test that showed some inflammation so I was sent to a rheumatologist for further review. I had another complete physical compliments of my dad and I had a complete blood workup done. My results looked pretty good there too. My cholesterol is all good except for my good cholesterol. That is low. I need to get in some more exercise so that I can get that number up. My blood pressure and pulse are both very low and I had a few weirdly low numbers but no one seemed worried about them so I won't either. All in all I am a pretty healthy specimen.

I followed up with a rhuematologist this week and he confirmed the reactive arthritis diagnosis. Apparently it is caused from a bacteria or virus and the arthritis lasts a couple of months up til 6 months. He said there is no permanent damage and it will go away on its own so I don't need to take any meds.

I am feeling better. Still have pretty good knee pain and on and off stiffness in other joints. I went on a bike ride with my kids yesterday and holy cow, not so good for my knees. Ouch. My fatigue levels are better so I am cooking more and feeling better. I still get a bit worn out by about 9:00 each night but that's OK.

I have been enjoying my food lately. Lots of salads and fruit in the warm weather. I have been loving grapes and can't seem to get enough of them. My favorite salad is the guacamole salad that I make and I have tried a few new things but I just can't think of what they are right now. :o)

I have added back a bit of cooked food. I even have had some fish. I had a sea bass at a Japanese restaurant about a week ago and tonight I had some salmon. I've also had miso soup twice and some seaweed salad. OMG that was so good. I loved it! I had never had it before and it is way better than the crap I was making at home. The seaweed was this fluorescent green color. Just lovely.

I haven't felt bad after eating any of the cooked food. It actually has felt nice and clean so I feel good about it. I have been craving fish a lot lately so I decided to listen to my body and give it some. Delicious!

Life at home with the kiddies has been pretty good. There haven't been any problems and we've been having a good time. I cooked some healthier meals this week finally. I've been feeling major guilt for the way my boys have been eating lately but I just haven't had the energy to do anything about it until this week. It feels good.

I am up way past my bedtime so I am going to run. I hope all is well with all of you! Much love.

I am still here everyone!

2008-06-02T00:31:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to drop a quick note to thank everyone for the lovely support I received from all of you. Hugs and kisses to everyone!!!

I dragged my sorry self to the doctor's office on Friday. They said my symptoms sounded like something called reactive arthritis. Apparently after a bacterial or viral infection you can sometimes get an arthritic flare up in the joints that can last 4-6 weeks. Of course they prescribed some drug for me. I asked if I needed the drug to get better or if I would get better on my own. His reply was that I would get better but he wondered how I would function for 4-6 weeks while I waited. I just smiled.

When I looked up reactive arthritis on the Internet I found something completely different from what he told me. Ho hum, it is so irritating.

He ran some blood tests "just to be sure." I don't know what he ran but I asked him to check my B12 levels and I told him that I went vegan about 6 months ago. He decided to also check my iron levels. I should get the results of these tests on Monday.

I called my family and told them what was going on. I was honest for the first time and told them all the things that have been wrong with me for the past...I don't know...many years. I never really want to talk about it so I never tell anyone much of anything. I find it rather annoying to have so much attention payed to my feeling crappy. I truly hate it!

And I know they mean well but I swear to God, my mom called me 12 times that first day to "check up on me." My dad called a bunch too and we had to talk about it incessantly. UGH! I really like to make light of it and go about my business and do my best. That is really hard to do when every half an hour someone is calling to talk about how shitty I feel. Oh well, like I said, I know they mean well and I am sure they are worried so I try to be patient.

I have a full physical scheduled for Wed. My dad was very adamant that I go the medical route to see what is exactly wrong with me. He said he would play my game if I would play his. So I will have the full barrage of tests. Who knows what they will find. After the extensive testing I had done when I was in the hospital a few years ago I don't hold up much hope that they will find anything but who knows.

I have spoken to someone at Hippocrates and given him the times that I would be available to spend 3 weeks there. Now I just have to see if they have any openings. My dad is totally supportive of me going and my mom is willing to help with the kids so I can go. She said that they would find a way to make it work. So, we shall see what happens.

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight but I am not the slightest bit tired and it is almost 1 AM. I feel like I am beginning to get my mind back a bit. Not so fuzzy. I am definitely feeling better. Not 100% but I can now walk up the stairs without much problem and going down the stairs is only a little funny looking. I am also waking up less in pain each night. I could definitely make it without drugs feeling like this. I am not sure how long I could have made it feeling like I did before though so yippee for me. OK, well I am going to make myself go to sleep so I guess I will sign out.

Thanks again for all your support!!
xoxo

Troubles

2008-05-30T07:19:00.005-05:00

I've been lying low lately because I don't really know how to deal with what has come up for me. I really don't want to complain about it but at the same time I am a bit freaked out and don't really know what is going on.

Last week I had the flu. I am beginning to think it really wasn't the flu. I am thinking it was the beginning of some type of flare up that I am having. I had a fever, sore joints and fatigue last week and now I am having it again in a different way. It started a couple of days ago. My joints hurt so bad that I can hardly walk up and down the stairs. Sitting is painful on my knees to the point of extreme pain. Lifting my arms up causes pain in my shoulders and elbows. My hands and wrists are hurting as I type this. I am having a mild headache and extreme fatigue. I can't seem to keep myself awake throughout the day. I ache all over and it's going on day 3. I don't think I am thinking clearly. I feel a bit foggy and I am just too tired to give a shit about much of anything. What the hell?!

I spent most of my time alone yesterday crying and falling asleep. My husband wants me to go to the doctor which I am resisting because I have had so many bad experiences there. They usually can't find anything wrong with me. If they find something or even if they don't I know they will just give me some kind of crappy medication that I won't want to take so I don't quite see the point in going. I guess I may get a diagnosis as to what is wrong with me however I feel that all disease stems from the same imbalance in the body that manifests itself in different ways so what good will it do? I have to say that waking up in pain again today has got me thinking that I may call the doc though. I just don't know.

It is frustrating, irritating, and a bit scary. I guess I feel like I spent all of these days on my juice feast with the hopes of clearing out any issues I had and to be perfectly honest I feel worse off then I did before. I put in a call to Hippocrates Institute yesterday and I think I am going to have to call my dad and see if I can get some money to spend some time over there. I haven't told my family all the things that are wrong with me because I don't want them to worry and more importantly I didn't want to make a big deal about it. I didn't want every conversation to be about how I am feeling. I don't know how I am going to leave my kids for 3 weeks to get to Hippocrates but I can't see any other way at this point. I am beginning to get a bit freaked. I have to get better. I can't live like this and I have tried doing everything on my own and it just isn't working. I feel like I am actually getting worse!

Sorry to be a downer but I felt I needed to be honest. I will probably not be spending too much time here on the computer since I am exhausted from holding my arms up to type it. I just want to go lie down like a blob! Wish me luck. Love you all!

I'm Still Here

2008-05-27T08:45:00.005-05:00

I feel like I have dropped off the face of the earth or at least the face of the Internet. :o) I ended up getting a pretty nasty flu at the beginning of the week last week and spent Monday thru Friday pretty much in bed. It was rough going and I was tempted more than once to take a little Advil or something to relieve my headache and lower my raging fever but I resisted and made it through the whole thing without any toxic drugs.

My weekend was so busy and filled with baseball that I didn't have much time to do anything else. My 10 year old Devin played in a baseball tournament so I watched him play 5 baseball games in the span of 2 days. Wow, that's a lot of baseball. If that isn't enough we left the last game (he took 2nd place in the tournament) and went to see the Kane County Cougars play a minor league game.

It was so fun because after the game they had fireworks and the kids got to run the bases. Then they showed a movie and let the kids sit out in the field to watch it. We had friends set up our tents earlier in the day and we got to camp out behind the field. How fun for the kids...camping at the baseball field. Of course there was a torrential downpour that came in the middle of the night and my teenager and his friend were completely soaked in their tent. I mean, puddles! So funny. They were up at 2:00am walking around trying to find a dry spot. They ended up in the car. The rest of us survived without too much drenching.

We woke up and had a pancake breakfast and the kids had fun searching for toads and turtles in the pond and creek that run through the property. It was a great time had by all and we will definitely do it again.

I have a busy day today. My house looks like a bomb went off and I am in dire need of some food. I have to get myself to the store before my little guy gets home from school. Only 7 more days of school and it's summer break. I really can't believe it especially since it is once again freezing here! Brrrrr. Will summer ever come?

Pictures are of Liam and Aidan. Cutie pies!

Weekend Happenings

2008-05-18T18:09:00.004-05:00

My mom came over to watch the kids for me last night. On her way over she called and asked if I had anything for her to eat or did she have to stop and pick something up. I told her that I just made a big batch of cauliflower curry that she could have. She said, "Oh, OK. Do you have anything else in case I don't like it?" Hmmm, nothing like confidence right?

She liked it though and I did too. It had good flavor and the sweet sauce that was on it really gave it a nice contrast. Yum.

So what do my husband and I do when we have a babysitter? We drive 1 hour so my husband can play soccer! Ha ha, lots of fun right? Oh well, it wasn't too bad and to make it up to me he took me to the Borrowed Earth Cafe for dinner. He had the Burrito Loco and I had the Lasagna. We split a glorious apple pie for dessert and I took some cookies home and I ate them today. Yum.

I found out that the cookies they are serving are from Everyday Raw by Matthew Kenny. I am so excited and I just have to get that book now. If you have it, make the chocolate cookies. They are delicious!

We went to the movies and saw What Happens in Vegas. It was OK. It was a bit overacted, predictable and corny but it was fun and sometimes it's nice to watch something light hearted. I wouldn't see it again but I didn't want to poke my eyes out either. Although, I started to doze off a bit near the end but in my defense it was 11:30 and I only slept about 5 hours the night before.

Today was a busy baseball day. My son Devin (the 10 year old) had a double header so I spent 5 hours out at the field. It was friggin freezing! I had on long underwear, a long sleeved shirt, fleece sweatshirt, winter jacket, hat, gloves, and I sat in a mummy sleeping bag. Brrrrrr. I brought along a green smoothie for my food.

I will be spending every Sunday like this for quite a while. He is going to have double headers every Sunday. Let's just hope the weather gets better soon. I mean it is the second half of May and I want it to warm up for goodness sake!

I have once again been reading Making a Living Without a Job . I read it once a long time ago and I decided that I should probably dive into it again to help motivate me for my career aspirations. I like the book because she has the reader do exercises to help uncover hidden talents and forgotten passions. She tells stories of people who have taken their passions and dreams and turned them into careers and fulfilling lives.

My mom was flipping through it last week and opened up to this excerpt:

Here's a simple test to discover whether or not you are working with passion: Are you in a more or less loving mood or attitude when you are working? Does the work improve your relationships? Cause you to whistle or hum? Make you smile? Help you like yourself more?

Jess Lair wrote about Picasso. "You couldn't tell Picasso's work from his play." wrote Lair. "One minute he would be playing with his kids. The next minute he would be playing with his wife. And then he would be drinking wine and then playing with his paintings. It was all just love, love of his wife, love of his family, love of his friends, love of his work. He just floated back and forth between activities without any thought to there being a division or a gap."

I believe that would describe all people who have found their passion and live it. And rare as it may be right now, I'm stubborn enough to believe that we should not stop searching until our own lives can be described the same way as Picasso's.

When she finished I made some comment about how that it was unrealistic to live like this. That there would always be things that had to get done that would be less than enjoyable. I was actually pretty negative about it.

Today while reading further into the book and thinking about it some more I tried to think about people I know that live even remotely close to this and I couldn't think of anyone and then I remembered reading A Day in the Life of Dhrumil on We Like it Raw. Now this guy seems to know have this down pat. He does his work, he has fun and his life seems to be balanced and exactly what he wants it to be like.

So what do you all think? Give me some input on how close to Picasso you live and whether you think it can be done on the personal level and the financial level. What advice do you have or lessons have you learned? What questions do you have about this? Let's have a dialog so we can all learn.

Daily Gratitude

1. I loved being able to sleep in today. It felt so good and my hubby came and woke me up with a cuddle. What a great way to start the day.

2. I loved watching my son hit a home run. He had such determination on his face as he rounded first and then his face lit up and was beaming as he touched home. Pure joy!

3. I am so grateful for a nice warm house. It feels so good to warm up after a day out in the cold.

Beginning of Gratitude

2008-05-16T23:53:00.005-05:00

Photo by Aki Jinn on Flickr

I had an amazingly busy day today. I was going from the moment I got up in the morning. I am in the process of beginning some heavy duty meal planning for my family. When I embarked on my juice feast my wonderful husband took over cooking for the kids. I asked him to continue for a while so that I could get acclimated with raw food cooking and he obliged. Things have gotten super busy in the last week and our cupboards have been bare. My husband doesn't cook the healthiest of meals (bless his heart) and this week has been absolutely atrocious so I just couldn't take it anymore. They have had hamburgers, pizza, pasta, and WAFFLES for dinner this week. We have been scraping by trying to make do.

So I started searching the web looking for easy and somewhat healthy recipes. I found some fun things and I am going to be using my crockpot on really busy baseball days so we can have something besides a box of macaroni and cheese. I know, I know, it's horrible. One day at a time folks. I can't do everything.

My family is not raw, not vegan, and not vegetarian. I am going to be making more salads and fresh veggies to go along with the other meals I make them and I will continue to make my raw meals as well. I don't know how well this will go since it seems to be pretty time intensive. I have created a weekly plan on my computer and printed out the recipes and a shopping list. I will put them in page protectors and if the recipe works out I will repeat them on a regular basis, maybe monthly. Once I have about one months worth I will be able to print them out and go. Hopefully it will be as easy as I think :o)

I didn't have a chance to take any pictures of my food today. What a shame. Sorry to let you all down. I had nori rolls for breakfast. Ha ha, I am a little Ben copy-cat! I had a Mediterranean salad for lunch. I didn't have time to let it sit for 30 minutes so I just ate it. It was still pretty good. I had mock chicken salad in romaine wraps with tomato and cucumber for dinner. Then I had this simple chocolate banana bowl for dessert as a little treat to myself later in the evening. Yum!

Gratitude

I have decided to keep a gratitude journal here on my blog. I think it will be a great way to keep track of this since I am not so good at journalling at home. Each time I post I will end it with 3 things I am grateful for during the day.

1. I am so in love with my husband. I am so grateful that he is such a wonderful man. I love the way he coaches our kids in all of their sports and how he makes it so fun for them. I love when the kids call him Coach Ed and I love the way he plays with them and teaches them at the same time.

2. I am so grateful for the calmness in the house over the last few days. It feels like still waters around here. No drama, just smiling and ease.

3. I was in love with the way the sky looked tonight as the sun was setting. The colors were so deep and gorgeous. Orange, yellow, purple, blue. It was like the most beautiful piece of art one could hope for. I was so grateful to notice it even for the brief moment that I did as I hurried through my day. What a gift.

In the Kitchen

2008-05-15T15:10:00.005-05:00

I made this Exotic Fruit Salad Today for breakfast. It was super easy and yummy. A nice change from the ordinary smoothie.

I didn't have much in my fridge so I took out everything I had, combined it with some things from my pantry and came up with the above salad. I thought it was going to be better then it actually was. I mean, it was OK and I ate the whole thing but I wouldn't rave about it so I won't bother giving you the recipe. I can tell you it is an Asian Rapini and wakame salad. The dressing tasted so good in the bowl but when I mixed it with the greens it was just sort of boring. Oh well.

Just a Quick Hi

2008-05-15T00:06:00.003-05:00

I am up way too late tonight but I just wanted to drop in and say hi. I had a full day today. I watched my son's baseball game (what else is new right?). It was so sad I just wanted to cry. They were playing their big rival and they were up by 2. My son got his chance to pitch and he did so awesome for the first 5the and 6th innings. He was on fire. Then in the 7th inning they started hitting off of him and his team made some errors and the next thing you know the game was over and the other team ran out onto the field to cheer. It was crushing and I looked out and saw him hanging his head. I had to choke back my tears.

Afterwards we headed home and my mom came home with us. I whipped up some nori rolls for her for dinner. She said she liked them. She said they tasted fresh. That is so true of raw food. There is this vibrant and alive taste to the food.

Then we all played a game of spoons. My little guys just love this game. I love watching them shuffle the cards. They take the top half of the deck and put it on the bottom. They do this over and over again as if it was actually making a difference. They don't want any help however and then they are so focused on dealing the cards that I can't get enough of watching the concentration on their little faces. So cute.

My oldest is contemplating moving in with his dad at the end of the school year. I am pretty sure he has made up his mind to go but is still saying he isn't sure yet to appease me. It is so difficult to think that he may be moving out of my home after 15 1/2 years. I just can't quite come to grips with it. I think that I won't be able to until the day it happens. I guess I am still holding out hope that it won't.

As you can see it has been a day of ups and downs for me. It's strange because despite it all I have this feeling of strength that everything is OK. I can't really explain it. Maybe I'm just tired. ;o)

Love to all.
PS Day two of tamales was BAD. They tasted delicious but made me so sick. I don't know why but I felt as if I was in a coma. I couldn't stay awake and I slept on the couch for about an hour as I fought of waves of nausea. Blech. I don't think I will be making those again any time soon.

Red Hot Raw Mexican!

2008-05-13T18:50:00.007-05:00

I was never a big Mexican food fan which is funny since my hubby LOVES it. I liked a good burrito, salsa, guacamole, and when I tasted a real, authentic tamale for the first time I was in love! Now that I am eating raw I seem to be turning more to Mexican food to feed me.

Yesterday I made the fajita veggies again and today I put them on a salad with some tomato, avocado, and pumpkin seeds. I sprinkled some lime juice on and the liquid from the veggies and it was yummy!

Then I made some tamales from my new Raw Food Real World cookbook. I've been wanting to try them and I know the recipe is online but I just never got the chance to make them. Well, I dug in today and knocked them out. A little raw food therapy.

It really wasn't that hard. It was just a lot of different steps. I certainly wouldn't make something this time consuming on a regular basis but they looked fantastic and they tasted really nice.

I changed things up a bit because I didn't have the amount of time required to dehydrate the mushrooms and I also didn't have green tomatoes so I used this recipe for the salsa verde. It tasted great. It was a bit watery so I put it in a fine mesh strainer to drain the extra liquid and...yummy. I think I will make this again for eating with Mexican flax crackers. It's a nice switch from normal pico de gallo that I make. I read somewhere that tomatillos are from the nightshade family though so if you are trying to stay away from them, you might want to steer clear of this salsa.

I posted my 101 list today. It is on the right side of the blog, way down at the bottom. I've started a few of them so I feel like I am off to a good start.

I know I just posted today about staying off the computer. It just so happens that there is no one home right now so I thought I would shoot off a quick post before they got home so I could share my fun in the kitchen with you all today. Gotta run!

Changes Are Happening

2008-05-13T08:32:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone,
I've posted a new Utter in my green player to the right. If you can't find it there you can listen to it here.

Thanks for listening!

2008-05-12T09:30:00.003-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a terrific Mommy's Day. I know I did. It was a relaxing and fun weekend and I have never been so happy for lousy weather on Sunday because it meant my son's double header was canceled and I was able to spend Mother's Day home with my family. My parents came later in the day and we had a nice time.

The above picture was my dinner on Saturday. We had one of our favorite neighbor couples over for dinner. They are just the nicest people and we love spending time with them. They all had hamburgers with chips. I made a big salad for anyone who was interested. I used mixed greens, oranges, cucumbers, and pine nuts. I made a lemon dressing from the Raw Food/Real Worlds book It was pretty good.

I also made the Indian Spinach Dip again from Alissa Cohen's Book. I put it in romaine leaves and topped it with some tomatoes. It was very good and satisfying. I ended up dipping some carrots in it later as we played cards for a little snack too. Yum.

Sunday morning I woke up and decided that since it was Mother's Day and I could do WHATEVER I wanted without guilt I was going to watch the new movie I bought called All Jacked Up. I was thrilled that the hubby wanted to watch it with me. He is usually not into this kind of thing.

There was a lot of good information in the movie and there was some traumatic scenes of what goes on in the slaughterhouses. I was crying and crying during that part. I just couldn't stop. Unfortunately there were some pretty slow parts that dragged on and the movie was a bit all over the place but I am glad I watched it and I am especially glad my hubby watched it.

I told my teenagers that I wanted them to watch it for my Mother's Day gift (yes I milked the Mother's Day thing but with 5 kids I have to :o). They were less then thrilled and I had to wake up my 14 year old a few times. :o( We talked about it at the end and they were surprised at how horrible the animals were treated in the slaughterhouse. When I asked them if the movie changed their idea about anything they pretty much told me no. I was pretty disappointed but I did my part by showing it to them and they have to make their own choices in life so what can a mom do?

I got some beautiful handmade cards, art projects from school, 2 apple trees and 2 Raw Cookbooks. I got the above mentioned Raw Food/ Real World book that I've been contemplating purchasing for 2 years now. I've always steered away from it because everything looked so difficult but I decided that it would be nice to have for special occasions. I also got the new book from Fresh The Ultimate Live Food Cookbook by Sergei and Valya Boutenko. I haven't had a chance to look through it yet so I can't say anything else about it.

For dinner on Sunday I made a salad and some pesto pasta with my lemony pesto oopsie sauce. It was fair. I also made Chadd Sarno's Pasta Puttanesca which was pretty good. The funny thing is that while I ate it I would rate it a 6 out of 10 but the taste in my mouth after eating it bumped it up to an 8 or 9. How weird is that? I also made a mango mousse for myself that I enjoyed while everyone had ice cream. Yummy.

After my parents left we watched the Survivor Finale and I have to say we were a bit disappointed at the outcome. I said it was a bad ending to a good season. I won't say more in case my overseas friends haven't heard who won yet. xo

So all in all it was a wonderful weekend. I guess the downside to all this relaxing is that it has carried over to today. I don't feel like doing anything today except taking it easy. I know I have a busy day coming up later so I just feel like being a blob. Oh well, it is Monday.

Journey Outreach

2008-05-12T09:28:00.001-05:00

I sent this link to someone today and then I thought I should share it with all of you. I love this movie. It brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it. So inspirational. I hope you enjoy it.

Ooopsies in the kitchen

2008-05-09T23:44:00.005-05:00

So today was an interesting day in the kitchen for me. It started off good with my morning smoothie and then I moved onto my lunch which was wonderful. I made a corn salsa and put it on top of my mixed greens. The salsa was rather sweet and eating it on its own was a bit much but mixed with the bitter greens it was a nice balance.

Then I decided to make some pesto. I bought 2 bunches of basil because I wanted to freeze some. So I turned on a taped episode of Oprah and started throwing things in my food processor. I whipped it up and took a taste and blech! It was weird and yucky. I couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong. I've made pesto before so what the heck. I looked down and saw my garlic cloves lying there on the counter. Duh, I pressed them and mixed them and gave it another taste and blech! I thought back to what I had done and it dawned on me that I put, are you ready for this? A half cup of lemon juice in it! I know, how does someone hand squeeze 2 lemons and add them to a recipe that doesn't call for them without realizing it? Good question. I blame it on Oprah! :o) Oh well, it started to grow on my so I stuffed some mushrooms anyway and froze it so we'll see.

So then I decided to quickly whip up some sunflower pate before I had to run out the door for 2 baseball games. I would have just made some nori rolls with avocado but I didn't have any. I threw everything in my mini food processor and then it dawned on me that because I hadn't soaked the seeds I should have ground them up in the coffee grinder like I do every other time I've made this. Duh again. My food processor sucks the big one so the consistency was crappy. I didn't have time to care so I made up some rolls, threw them in a to-go container and ran out the door.

So there you go. Superstar in the kitch yesterday and super stupid today! hee hee.

OK, I think I am over nori rolls. I have officially burned out on them. I didn't even really enjoy them that much. It's good because I just ran out of the wrappers. I went through 4 packages. Can you believe it? Well I guess my body has had enough of them. Now I have no idea what I am going to eat tomorrow and I have a game to go to at 10:00am. I am not prepared. I was out until 9:00PM and had to come home to my kitchen that looked like a tornado went through it and then I watched Independence Day on TV and now it is midnight and I am just going to go to bed and let the chips fall where they may tomorrow.

Nighty night.

PS I meant to tell you guys what happened yesterday at my son's baseball game. Remember when I told you that I worked that garage sale for a fundraiser and I brought my lunch with me and everyone was looking at it and smelling it (that's putting it lightly, I stunk up the whole garage and had to sit outside to eat it. It was broccoli rabe). Anyway, one of the moms who was there came up to me and asked me if I would give her the recipe. I was shocked. She said she had never heard of it but it smelled good. I don't know, raw rapini might be a bit much to start her out on >;o)

Now I am going to BED!

Ramblings

2008-05-08T12:27:00.013-05:00

Every night my husband and I start the routine of preparation for the next day. We get the kids' lunches ready and we prepare all the ingredients for the morning smoothies. My husband likes to make his smoothie at night, put it in a mason jar and put it in the freezer. I don't think you're supposed to freeze them and I told him but he says it works so what the heck.

For a long time I wasn't preparing mine at night and then one day I realized it was crazy to do the work twice and now when I go to have my smoothie each morning I just throw all the cut up stuff in the blender and flip it on. So easy!

I've also been making an extra glass of smoothie each morning and leaving it in the fridge for an afternoon snack. I like to have it ready to go without any preparation. It's like a bonus!

More, More, More

I was so excited when my grocery store had kale in stock again. It's been 2 weeks with nothing. Boo hoo. I decided to make James Russell's Wilted Kale with Chipotle Dressing because I've been waiting...well, 2 weeks to try it.

The recipe calls for 4 heads of kale. I don't care how much it wilts, I can't eat that by myself so I decided not to halve it, but to quarter it. One bunch of kale. I also didn't have any hemp seeds so I used sesame seeds. I took a series of pictures to document the process.

I titled this More, More, More because I felt like every step of the way that is what this dish needed, more. In defense of the recipe, I think if I followed the recipe as written it probably would have tasted better.

Here are my mores:

1. Massaging. I think I should have massaged the kale longer and maybe even let it sit out and marinate for a while like I do with my broccoli rabe. I didn't like the raw taste I would get from time to time while eating it. Blech. I've marinated kale before but I've never had it taste like this before. Massage your kale a long time people. And when you think you're done, massage it some more.

2. Tomatoes - I would have like a bunch more tomatoes in my salad. Maybe if the kale tasted better I wouldn't have wanted more tomatoes but as it was I threw some more in after I started eating it.

3. Just more - I think I would have liked a bit more taste. The chipotle taste was good but I would have liked more. I think it would have benefitted from some garlic or pepper or something. I was thinking about adding more stuff to it as I was making it but as I said before I like the idea of trying things the way they are intended so I know where to go from there.

I usually rate all the things I make with stars. I would rate this one about 2 1/2 out of 4 but with some tweaking I know it would be just what I like. I will also make notes on recipes so that the next time I make it I know what to do differently. It has come in handy many times.

On the Go
I am the queen of eating on the go. I used to be so good at GO-ing to the drive thru or GO-ing to get pizza. Now I am the queen of raw food on the go! I only had a few minutes to prepare before I ran out the door for my son's baseball game today. I mean seriously, it was probably about 10 minutes. In that time I managed to make zucchini noodles, slice up and massage some mushrooms and spinach, and sprinkle on some pine nuts.

I packed it in a container (plastic- bad- I know) and grabbed a container of marinara I had ready and bam! I was out the door.

Now, that probably doesn't seem so fantastic BUT I also managed to get 4 bags of snacks made for my little guys, get the dogs put away, corral the kids to go to the bathroom, get their sweatshirts, coats, baseball mitts, shoes on and loaded in the car. I also got my husband's extra clothes ready, grabbed my coat, packed waters, and got everything in the car and ready to go. Whew! I amaze myself sometimes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that eating a raw and living foods diet doesn't have to be hard. It can be simple and it can be easy. It can be great. If I can do it, anyone can.

Today is Thankful Thursday

2008-05-08T11:03:00.004-05:00

I was driving home from my favorite Italian grocery store today and this song came on the radio. It is such a beautiful song with such heart and soul and it got me thinking about my online friends. So many of you have shared this journey with me and have been there when I needed a friend. You have helped carry my load and shared my pain and sorrow with me.

I am, as always so grateful for all of you and I wanted to share this song with you. I only hope that I will be able to return the favor if and when you need it. Love to all!

Ha ha, blogger won't let me post it here so I've put it in the sidebar to the right. I will leave it there for a few days.

Confessions of a Messy Un-cook

2008-05-07T18:14:00.006-05:00

Well, I took this picture yesterday and it took me until today to be able to post it. I'm not sure I will actually go through with it even now but we'll see. You see, I am a messy cook and now that I am eating raw I am a messing un-cook. I don't know why and I can't control it. I just always seem to create a kitchen that looks like a tornado went through.

I have a neighbor that is so neat and tidy and we used to spend a lot of time together. She actually helped me with some of my mosaics a few summers ago. One night we were out in my screen room grouting this 6 foot panther I had to finish with black grout. Now if any of you have ever grouted before you know it is a messy endeavor. When we finished up I was covered in black grout. I had it on my face, arms, clothes and probably my hair, who knows, I was a disaster. Jamie on the other hands had one little drop of grout on her forearm! I couldn't believe it!

So one day I decided that I was going to try to be like her in the kitchen. I started out slowly. I got out all the ingredients I needed ahead of time (I usually fly by the seat of my pants and run around my kitchen grabbing this and that), I was talking to myself in my head, "Open the spice jar, measure it out, pour it into the bowl, put the cap back on, now put it away. This went on for a while and then all of the sudden it was like I went blank and then I woke up and the dish was done and my kitchen was a mess.

Oh well, what are you going to do? I am who I am. At least I clean it up when I'm done...eventually ;o)

Here is what I ate for dinner tonight. I took the leftover fajita veggies from last night and put them in romaine leaves with avocado and tomato. I made a salad with a bit of lime and the juice from the fajita veggies. It was delish!

I had nori rolls for lunch and then I finally ate my falafel that I made. I made a small amount of cucumber sauce and put it in a romaine leaf. It was really good. Surprisingly good. I look forward to having this again. It might not look too good in the picture I took but it tasted good.

I have been eating 4 times a day instead of the usual 3. I just can't make it long enough between meals so I have added one in. It's usually pretty light but it keeps me going so I think it is good. It's funny because I couldn't ever seem to get 4 quarts of juice in when I was on my juice feast but now I am eating 4 meals a day. Hee hee.

It seems my mom has found her way to my blog. Hi Mom! I don't know how she managed it but she is here. She called me today and we had a good talk about my future. She really helped me focus my poor, whirling brain in regard to getting my act together and starting a career. She even gave me homework! Can you imagine? Well, I think it was helpful and I am grateful. Besides, you can never get enough positive spin from your mom right?

I am celebrating the fact that my Little Liam is heading back to school tomorrow. His fever is officially gone and he just went outside to play a little football with his brothers. I know, he should probably rest but he was so bored that I just couldn't say no. He was so cute today. He called me on the phone's intercom today and said, "Hello, this is Snicky-Doo (the name we call our dog Snickers). Liam asked me to call you and ask you to watch a movie with him." Ha ha, how cute.

OK, I have to go clean my kitchen before the hubby gets home ;o)

Summer on a Plate

2008-05-06T12:36:00.006-05:00

Today's salad was marvelous as I knew it would be! I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. It wasn't the most food combining friendly recipe but it was so good that I just didn't care. As I sat out in my screen room eating it I felt like I was eating summer on my plate, hence the name. Loved, loved, loved it. It was so simple too!

I made a vinaigrette with my pomegranate vinegar, olive oil, lemon zest, and Dijon mustard. I mixed some baby greens with an orange, some strawberries, avocado, marinated onions, and pecans. Wow! Delish!

For dinner I made fajitas again for my hubby. He was so excited when he came home and saw them sitting on the counter marinating. Instead of using the chili powder this time I used a Mexican seasoning that I made up a while ago. It was good. I took a picture but for some reason Blogger won't let me put any more pictures up tonight so I posted it to twit pics.

I also made some tortillas to wrap them in this time. They were really good. I think they were a bit sweet for my taste though. I enjoyed them but every once in a while it just felt a bit too sweet. I almost think I like them better in a lettuce wrap of some sort. Just goes to show you how much your tastes change when you do a juice feast.

I also posted a picture of my backyard view on twit pics today. I was sitting out there all day enjoying the glorious weather. I just love that my screen room is actually a 3 season room so I can shut the windows if it is too windy or cool. We have sat out there many nights during rain storms watching the lightening too. I love my screen room. I can't wait until I have a bit of $ to make it look pretty too.

Mouth Revolution

2008-05-06T10:31:00.002-05:00

I found this movie on James Carey's blog and I was laughing out loud. You have to watch it!

Making Money

2008-05-06T10:17:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone, I made another Utter that you can listen to in my Utter player to the right. It doesn't have anything to do with raw food per say. I am talking about making money. It's about 5 minutes long and I hope you will listen and give some feedback. I could use it.

Thanks!
xo

Getting Out and About

2008-05-05T11:59:00.009-05:00

Today's salad had great potential. I thought I was making a salad with wakame but I soaked some arame instead. It was still good but I have to admit that the wakame is better, well at least I like it better. It was still good though.

Here is what I put in the Seaweed Salad:

arame
bean sprouts
1/2 granny smith apple
cucumber
spiralized zucchini
onion
chopped cilantro

Dressing
3 Tbl apple cider vinegar
3 Tbl Namo Shoyu

1 1/2 Tbl sesame oil
1/2 Tbl flax oil
1 tsp agave
1 tsp grated ginger
1 large clove garlic
1 Tbl sesame seeds

I ate this for lunch with some nori rolls. I know, I love them. I can't stop eating them. It's ridiculous. They are the same ones I ate yesterday. I don't know why I keep taking pictures of them since they are always the same. Tee hee :o)

I soaked some almonds and pecans last night so I could make some falafels today. I have been wanting them for quite a while. I whipped them up this morning and put them in the dehydrator. I was surprised how quickly they were done. They finished in half the time I expected. I was planning on having them tonight with a nice tabouli but I forgot that I had planned to go to the local raw food restaurant for a meetup tonight.

I put a few in a collard with some tomatoes, cucumbers and alflafa sprouts for a little snack around 3:00. They were a little dry. I think when I go to eat them for a main dish they will need some kind of sauce. I am not a huge fan of tahini so I don't know what I will do with them just yet.

On my way over to the Borrowed Earth Cafe I stopped off at the Olive tap. It is this cute olive oil shop in downtown Downers Grove. It was so cute but the best part was the owner. What a sweet man. You could just tell that he loves what he does. He has passion and that is contagious.

The oil and balsamic vinegar are in these big stainless steel looking urns with spigots on them. He walked around with me and told me about all of the oils and the types of olives used, where they came from and how they were pressed. He gave me samples of all the different things he had and let me tell you, it was divine.

I ended up purchasing a medium bodied olive oil from Sicily. A big shout out to you Dea!!!! I also got the most unbelievable balsamic vinegar...are you ready for it...pomegranate! OMG it is ridiculous!!! I can't wait to make a salad with it. Woo hoo! I walked out of there with two bottles wrapped up in pretty tissue paper and placed lovingly in a beautiful paper shopping bag. It was such a treat. I guess it should be for the price I paid! Whew, I can't wait for the hubby to get that bill. He won't understand :o)

The meetup was so much fun. I met some great people and had a really nice chat with the owners at the end of the evening. It's a great place and the food is delicious. It has a nice vibe. I like it there. I told Kathy (the owner) that if they ever need an employee to work a bit here and there that I would be open to it. I think it would be fun. Ha, my parents might fall over since I tried so hard to run away from the restaurant business my whole life. This is different though. :o)

I had a burrito to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. It was really good even though it was a bit spicy for my tastes. All of their food comes with 2 or 3 side salads that will vary depending on what they have fresh that day. I was able to eat that and cool my tongue down a bit. It was a lot of food and I ended up only eating half of it which was good because it saved room for the COOKIES!

OK seriously, I don't know what the heck they did to make these bad boys but they were like nothing I have tasted before. They were double chocolate chip cookies. The texture was firm and soft at the same time and the flavor was rich and sweet. Holy cow...so good they should be illegal. I was planning on eating only one but, uh oh, I ate both of them. Shhh, don't tell anyone. Now I know to stay away from them.

When I got home I had my hubby try the burrito and he really liked it. He actually finished the whole thing. I am so happy because now I know for sure there is something he can eat there when we go out. It was good too because I asked him how spicy it was to him on a scale of 1 to 10. He said 5 and I said 8. Pretty good to know how we compare. Now I know how to make his food when I cook for him.

My little Liam was home sick today. It was a bit scary. He woke up screaming and crying at 6:00 am telling me his back hurt. He had a slight fever. I got him back to sleep and then when he woke up again he was still complaining of a sore back. It was mostly on the left so I knew it couldn't be the gallbladder or appendix so I thought maybe the kidneys.

I went with him to the bathroom and watched him straining while he was peeing so I got a bit worried. I took him to the doctor and they did a urinalysis on him. The quick one came back clean so that was good. They are going to culture it but I think it will come back negative too. I found out that he hasn't pooped since Friday though so the straining could just be constipation. I am thinking he has two unrelated things, a virus and constipation. I got him some organic cranberry juice just in case and had him eat some flax crackers and raisins. Hopefully that will get him moving again.

As the day went on his fever got worse. He was bright red, burning up and completely listless on the couch. He kept falling in and out of sleep. I usually try not to give the kids any kind of fever reducer but when it hits about 104 degrees I usually give in and that is what happened tonight. Poor little guy.

Wow, I had a lot to write tonight didn't I? Well, it was great getting out of the house and doing something new and different. When I was driving home I realized how happy I was singing in the car and it made me see that I need to do this type of thing more often. I feel such a bond with so many of you on the Internet but I don't really have any friends locally that are into the same things as me. I am usually the odd one that everyone asks weird questions to. It was great to see that there are people out there who are like me and one of them lives minutes from my house! They get together all the time and they are planning some fun adventures. They want to go camping and to Ravinia for meetups. Now that's what I'm talking about, well not the camping thing but still, how fun. Only my hubby could get me to go camping for him :o) OMG, I can't stop typing. Sorry!

Much love!

Weekend Menu

2008-05-04T16:31:00.008-05:00

So you all know I've been craving seaweed. I decided to whip out my wakame that I had in my pantry and see what I could do with it. I made the first salad yesterday. It was OK. A little boring but OK. I have never had wakame so I was surprised that I couldn't really taste it too much. I was so excited that the taste was so bland and yet so good for me so I gave my husband a strand. Ha ha. He was gagging and spitting it out. It was the funniest thing. Hee hee, I'm evil. No, I really didn't think it had that much taste. Oh well. Here is the recipe I used. I did not use the Bragg's and I used romaine lettuce and tomatoes. No nuts.

Simple Wakame Salad

Recipe contributed by Dorleen Tong
1 clove garlic, grated
1/2 teaspoon grated ginger
1/2 avocado
Bragg's to taste
3 cups greens (sunflower, buckwheat, spinach, lettuce, etc)
1 cup soaked wakame seaweed
optional: tomatoes, walnuts, pecans, almonds or pine nuts

Grate the ginger and garlic. In a small bowl, mash the avocado, ginger, garlic and Bragg's together. Break greens and wakame up into bite size pieces. Toss all ingredients together thoroughly.
This recipe is courtesy of San Francisco LiFE

Today I decided to try again. I made Japanese Delight that is in Alissa Cohen's book, Living on Live Food .I added a bunch of alfalfa sprouts and substituted the Bragg's for a little bit of miso. It was pretty good. Better then the first one. Still not to die for but still, very good.

Now the nori rolls I made to go with it are another story. Wow, I loved them. I mixed some fresh grated ginger with a bit of miso, a bunch of alfalfa sprouts, avocado, cucumber, cilantro, and red pepper. I really loved these and wanted more and more and more. :o)

For lunch I made the Indian spinach dip from the same book. I didn't know what to expect and I was thrilled at the taste of it. It had 4 cups of spinach in it and I ate about 1/2 of it. I put it in a collard wrap with more alfalfa sprouts, red pepper and grape tomatoes that I cut in half. Yummmmmmy! I didn't take a picture of it because honestly it didn't look that great, but it tasted wonderful!

I did take a picture of the sandwich I made with it for dinner though. I used the Black Sesame Bread I made from Ani Phyo's Book and topped it with cucumber, tomato, alfalfa, and red onion. It was pretty good. Better in the collard wrap though. I guess I can't be a good critic of the bread because when I was supposed to put sunflower seeds in it, I put sesame seeds. Oops, I think that might change the taste a bit. I am going to have to try it again.

I don't know why I decided I wanted a dessert tonight. Maybe I thought it was a special Sunday treat. I made this Mango Mousse and Berry Parfait. I don't know where I got the recipe because I copied it off the Internet about 2 years ago but boy oh boy was it good. My husband and kids thought it was good too. I made a smaller amount.

Red Mango Mousse and Berry Parfait

4 cups Fresh Red Mangoes (I don't know what red mangoes are. I just used a regular mango)
4 TB Coconut butter
1/2 vanilla bean (I used liquid)
2 TB lime
1 TB lime zest
1/2 cup agave (I used a lot less, a drizzle)
Pinch of salt
1 cup berries (I used strawberries)

Put all ingredients except the berries and 1 cup of the mango in food processor and process until smooth and creamy. Chill in the fridge 1-2 hours or overnight. (I didn't do this)

Fill the cups with a layer of the mousse, a layer of fresh sliced mango, then another layer of the mousse, then a layer of fresh berries and so on until full. Top with a layer of fruit and fresh mint leaves.

I was so excited on Saturday when I went to a local kitchen store Sur La Table and bought myself a spiral slicer. I was able to make the most beautiful angel hair pasta with it. I topped it with marinara and it was delicious. I love that slicer! It's so cool. I also got this neat mango cutter. You just press down on it and it takes the pit out. It makes it so much easier. I loved it.

So that was my culinary weekend. I hope you enjoyed the recap. I am enjoying my food so much that I wish I could eat more:o) There's always tomorrow!

Bathroom Stories

2008-05-03T09:23:00.003-05:00

Photo by AK Photo's

So I know this is a weird subject to be talking about but I feel as if I've gotten to know you all well enough through our juice feasting that I can go ahead with it and it won't be weird. I hope so anyway.

Remember when I had my dramatic colonic episode during my juice feast? If you remember, I had quite an emotional response to releasing probably years and years of "matter". I continued with the colonics throughout a lot of my feast and yet I still wasn't seeing a lot of improvement with bowel activity. So many of my juice feasting friends were all very regular while I was still stopped up.

Even when I broke my feast I was eating prunes for a week to try to get things moving. It was slow going but I am happy to report that I have for the first time in my life that I can remember gotten "normal" movements. I know it sounds crazy, but I am just thrilled about it. I am in the bathroom at least 3 times everyday. I am still having moments where I know I have to go but it takes a while to happen but at this point, who cares, I am able to go all the time, everyday! Woo hoo.

Now, the reason I have decided to write about this isn't just to pat myself on the back...or the bum as may be. I have noticed something about myself that I never knew before and I suspect it may be something other people with chronic constipation might be able to relate to.

I never liked the idea of going to the bathroom. I thought it was embarrassing and I thought it was gross so I didn't want to have to do it very often. I would hold it in so I wouldn't have to go when I was out in public etc. God forbid I would have to take a crap at someones house, no way in hell was that going to happen. I was too busy to stop and go to the bathroom too. Putting this on top of the emotional ties I have had to "holding on" and I set myself up to keep it all in.

So now that I am going more regularly I catch myself holding it in again. I will be sitting at the computer and feel like it is time to go to the bathroom but I don't want to get up so I wait. Or I will be watching TV and I don't want to get up so I hold it. What the hell, I have a DVR so I can pause live TV right? Why do I wait?

I find that it is a habit. I was like this for so long and I didn't even know it. So now when I catch myself doing it I stop what I am doing and go to the darn bathroom like my body was created to do. The cool thing is that I am so efficient now that I go so quickly and with little odor that I could go at someones house and they wouldn't even know it!

When I am in the bathroom on my throne I make a point to be grateful to my body for doing what it was intended to do, for releasing the toxins and for keeping things moving. I think it is really important for me to respect my body and all of its functions so that it will keep working for me.

Of course I don't think I would have been able to experience this abundance of movement had it not been for my juice feast. I really think that getting the fresh juice in my body everyday did some major healing in my digestive system. It is so cool.

So I hope this wasn't too much for you and I hope it was helpful to someone out there because I guess that is the only reason anyone would want to talk about their bowel movements in public, to help someone else. :o)

Having food fun

2008-05-02T17:33:00.003-05:00

I have been so interested in what I've been eating for lunch and dinner that I haven't told you that I have been having smoothies everyday for breakfast. I was going to have juice but David told me that the fiber in the smoothies each morning acts like a broom and really sweeps the body clean so I have been making one each and everyday.

That has been the only fruit or sweets I have had although today is the first day I was craving something sweet. I really wanted some chocolate, the raw kind but I didn't feel like taking the time to make it since it isn't really what I should be eating so I just ignored it. I ended up eating some watermelon later in the day and that seemed to satisfy me.

For lunch today I had nori rolls with the leftover tuna pate from yesterday. I can't seem to get enough of the nori. I love it. Seaweed, yum. I need to explore some more types of seaweed and try some new things. Expand my repertoire per say. I have some Wakame in my cabinet so I might try to find something to do with it.

For dinner I made some hummus that is made with zucchini which is the picture above. My husband came home and said it looked good. I told him that it wasn't, but then I told him I ate a bunch of it. I laughed because I couldn't decide if it was good or not. It was so bitter that I didn't really like it while I was eating it but then I kept wanting to eat more. Weird.

I think the tahini was too strong for me and I will try to use less the next time I make it. I made extras so I could make a wrap with it for tomorrow so I hope I like it. :o) Maybe I will add some more zucchini to it and take the taste down a bit. We'll see.

I have really only been making things from recipes right now. I need to get a sense of how things taste before I can venture out on my own and create my own dishes. It's like when you take art classes you start out copying the masters to learn and then you can create your own.

It's funny because that is how I have been thinking about my food lately. Today I was feeling a bit antsy and bored and I decided to make the hummus. I had so much fun putting the veggies out and making it look pretty. It's becoming like a creative endeavor for me. Too fun!

Fun Friday

2008-05-02T08:07:00.025-05:00

Here is a little Meme I found today around the subject of travel.

1. Where would you most like to travel? What attracts you to that destination? What would you do while you were there?
I want to go to Costa Rica. I want to do it all. See the beaches, go to the volcanoes, check out the jungle, enjoy the culture and take a zip line through the tree tops, white water raft, swim in the waterfalls, go to the hot springs and the cloud city, and whatever else looks fun. I have heard that Costa Rica is beautiful, has a variety of climates and is a lot like Hawaii 20 years ago. Since Hawaii is my favorite place I want to check it out. Besides, Ben lived there and he said it's Awesome! :o)

2. What are the top 5 places in the world you would like to travel to?

1. Costa Rica

2. Italy

3. Greece

4. Any South Pacific Island

5. India

3. There are all kinds of spiritually important places around the world like the Vatican, Mecca, etc. What spiritual location would you choose to travel to?

I would love to take a pilgrimage to India. Brandon Bays led one over Christmas this year. They traveled to sacred places all over India and sat with masters. I think that would be so life changing. It is something I don't see myself doing until my children are older however. Something to look forward to.

4. Choices, choices! Which location would you choose and why?

Venice, Italy or Juneau, Alaska

Venice, Italy because it is in Italy! and because I know Alaska is supposed to be beautiful but I am just not into going anywhere that is cold. I can't deal with the thought of it.

Tokyo, Japan or Berlin, Germany

Berlin, Germany because I don't have a desire to go to a city in Japan. I don't have much of a desire to go to Germany either but if I had to choose then it would be Berlin.

Dublin, Ireland or Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

This is a tough one because I would like to go to Ireland but not really the city of Dublin. I am attracted to the countryside of Ireland. Ho Chi Minh City would be pretty cool but I guess I would have to go with Dublin.

Bejing, China or Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Rio de Janerio, Brazil is my easy choice. I have absolutely no desire to go to Bejing and if I went to Rio I might be able to get out of the city and check out the countryside of Brazil. I think that would be awesome.

Waikiki, Hawaii or Moscow, Russia

Waikiki without a doubt. I know I have been there twice and it is a bit commercialized, OK a lot but it's Hawaii, my favorite place so I couldn't pass up the chance to go there. I would have to get off the strip and cruise the island though. Oooh, makes me want to hop on a plane right now. I wish I could move there!

London, England or Stockholm, Sweden

I have to say that I don't know much about Stockholm but I think I would choose it over London. I just don't have a desire to go there.

5. Where do you most want to visit in your country, some place you have never been before?

Hmmmm, in my country I would want to go to... I'm not sure, either Asheville, North Carolina or somewhere in California. I've never been to NC and it is supposed to be beautiful. There is something about it that is alluring to me. I've been to LA and San Francisco before but I think I would like to go to San Diego or up north where the redwoods are. Oh and then there is Oregon. I would love to go there. So much to see!

6. I am coming to your country. Where should I go ?

Wow, that is a tough one. The country is so varied with so much to see. I would suggest some kind of tour I guess so you could see everything. Start on the East Coast and see the New York, Boston, the birthplace of our country, head to the Midwest and check out Chicago, south to the smoky mountains and down to New Orleans, then up to Colorado and the Rocky Mountains. You wouldn't want to miss Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. Then on to the desert and the Grand Canyon in Arizona then over to California and all there is to see there and then you would want to head up to Washington or Oregon. There is so much more to see that I can't even decide.

But I guess if you could only pick one place to go it would probably have to be New York because let's face it, it's New York (I've never been there myself :o)

PS I apologize for the look of this post. Blogger was impossible and I finally gave up. I hope it's not too hard to read. xo

Special Meals

2008-05-01T11:45:00.007-05:00

I made a new pate for lunch and put it in a collard wrap today. I made the Save the Tuna pate from Ani Phyo's Book . I put double the amount of dulse and I ended up sprinkling some more on the wrap as I ate it. It just didn't have much flavor. I blanched my collard leaves like Kevin Gianni does and combined the pate with tomatoes and spinach. It worked pretty good and the taste was OK. I wouldn't say I was in love with but it certainly was filling.

I actually prepared ahead again by making the pate in the morning and blanching the collards before I left for yoga. When I got back it was so easy to wrap them up and dig in. I was planning on bringing them to the movies with me to eat there but I was hungry so I decided to go ahead and eat a bit early. It was probably better because they ended up being pretty messy. I think the tomato was watery and it dripped out all over. What a mess that would have been in a dark theater.

For dinner I had a marinated portobello mushroom with cauliflower mash and mushroom gravy and a romaine salad with tomato and avocado. The recipe came from the same book as above. I put it all in a "to-'go" container and brought it with me to my son's baseball game. The verdict is still out on this one. It was good but I'm not sure I would make it again. I don't know how to explain it. Too much olive oil I think.

Before I broke my juice feast I went to Ikea to help my mom plan her home office. While I was there I picked up a few things for my kitchen. I bought myself a new set of plates, just for me. I bought 1 round bowl, 1 square bowl plate combo thing, and 1 square plate. I know it's weird to buy just one set of plates but we have plenty of plates and no one else cares what the eat their food on. In fact, I've seen my kids just put their food on the table without any kind of plate (sandwiches). They are heathens. :o)

Anyway, I wanted my meals to feel special so I got the plates just for me. It has really been nice. I love to make the meal look pretty. I put it in one of my cool new white plates, put a little garnish on it and viola I feel like I have just been served something wonderful from a gourmet restaurant. I love it!

When I take my food with me I like to try and make it look nice too. It doesn't always happen but the plate above looks great and I ate it on the go. While I was eating it a woman commented on how good it smelled. My husband said it looked like steak so I am thinking that is pretty successful.

So if you want to make your meals a bit more special take a second to arrange the plate and you can even splurge and find something you love to eat off. You deserve it!

Magic of Leftovers

2008-04-30T20:02:00.003-05:00

When I was a young, growing up in the restaurant business I never had leftovers. I ate fresh, to order food for every meal, everyday. When I got older and moved in with my ex I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything that was leftover. He would eat things that sat in the fridge for a week. My current husband is the same way and they both think I'm crazy.

Once I started buying organic food I had a change of heart. The darn stuff is so expensive that I don't want to throw anything away. Slowly but surely I got used to the idea of eating day old food and now I can even make it to 3 days! Pretty amazing huh?

So today my lunch was quite a strange combination of things I found in the fridge. It was a nice lunch and it was surprisingly tasty. I took some romaine lettuce and red cabbage. I used 1/2 an avocado and some leftover marinara for the dressing. Then I topped it with my leftover rice from yesterday. It's not in the picture but I sliced up some olives and that made it really good.

For my afternoon dinner I had nori rolls again. It's funny, they were good but not as good as they were the other day. How is that possible? I ate them at my son's baseball game in the bleachers.

When I got home I made an avocado, tomato, spinach, onion sandwich on the bread I made in the dehydrator. It was really good. I enjoyed it so much. I should have taken more pictures but honestly I don't think about it at night. It is usually my lunch that gets photographed.

I was planning on making a big Mediterranean meal for tomorrow with hummus, falafel, tabbouleh and tzatziki but I am not sure if I will be able to. My little guy is off school and the others have a half day. I am going to yoga in the morning and then to the movies with them. Then I have 2 baseball games and a volleyball game to try and watch all around the same time. Doesn't leave much time for fun in the kitchen. We'll see how I feel tonight. Maybe I can get some of it done. If not, I will have something else. Who knows what it will be.

Uncovering the Monster

2008-04-30T09:50:00.012-05:00

Last night after I recorded my audio file I was still not tired so I stayed up a while and surfed the net. As I was about to shut down the computer I found a response to my audio up on Utterz. It was from a man named Brett. Here is a part of what he said:

It sounds as if you are denying a part of yourself. The alcohol or situation might let this denied part of you out from time to time.

Maybe you should try and learn how to be yourself, without harming other people with your words or without harming yourself with food or drink or smoke.

As I was lying there I kept turning it over and over in my head..."It sounds like you are denying a part of yourself" ...well I knew that to be true so many times before. There are all kinds of parts of me that I find from time to time that have been buried. Then I started thinking, what is this sleeping monster? Then I decided the time was right to meet this monster and to face it head on once and for all. I asked the question again, who is this monster?

I was bracing myself for the worst, ugliest part of me to appear there and to my surprise instead I saw a sad little girl standing there. It was obviously me as a child. I was so thin, slumped and deflated. My eyes were so sad and empty and I was looking down. I started crying when this vision entered my mind. It wasn't an ugly monster that was driving this behavior, it was a needy and sad little girl.

So I cried a while at the discovery and then I asked the little girl what it was that she needed. What was missing for her. Without going into personal details I will tell you that the little girl needed to talk to someone in her life about feelings of abandonment. She needed to understand why she felt so unloved, unimportant and alone. She needed to see FROM HER EYES that she was never alone, never unimportant, and never unloved. She needed to understand why adults in her life had done the things they had, to understand that they were lonely, sad, and felt unimportant themselves and that it wasn't her fault.

She needed to release herself from this heaviness that was weighing her down, to cut the unhealthy ties she had to this situation, to forgive those involved and to realize her true light and her true essence. It was a very powerful process and in the end the girl was lit up, glowing and beaming and skipping around with such joy. It was truly beautiful.

At that point I needed to let the current me say what needed to be said to the person involved in this situation. I was shocked at the amount of anger and to be honest, true rage that poured out of me. In this moment I felt as if I was killing this person for all that had been done to that innocent and precious little girl that had made her lose herself. I can't tell you how long I sat in this rage but it felt like an eternity. It just kept coming and coming and moving out of my body. When it finished I was left with a sense of peace and contentment.

I was then moved to feelings of guilt for holding this against the person for all these years. I was sobbing and asking for forgiveness. I was able to forgive the other person and myself for the whole thing and I was left in the arms of someone I never thought I could truly want to hug that way ever again. It was amazing.

Now, is this it? Is this the answer? Am I cured? Ha, I don't think so. I think this is another huge step in my quest for freedom. I know I uncovered some huge emotional ties last night and I know there are more there. I spoke with this person on the phone this morning and I still felt that same level of annoyance that I have in the past. The wall is still there but it has been knocked down a bit. I was able to take out some bricks and soon enough it will fall. It is a process, much like peeling an onion. There are so many layers and I will just keep peeling them away.

The most amazing revalation for me was this idea of the "sleeping monster." Right away I associated the needy part of myself with something horrible, something ugly and something to hide away when in reality it was just this sad and needy little girl. Now I ask you, close your eyes and imagine an ugly monster is driving you. How do you react? Do you run away from it? Do you fight it and slay it? One of those would be our response I suspect.

Now, imagine that the needy part of you is a small child. An innocent, beautiful child who is alone and lost and looking for help. How do you react now? My guess is that you pick up that child, you rock her, cuddle her and love her back to happiness. You embrace her and give her what she needs. Can you see the difference? The power in it?

I don't know what today will bring but I can tell you that the hyperactivity of my mind that was so evident last night has gone. I am feeling like I have slowed down. I feel at peace. I have a bit of anger still bubbling around and I am exhausted but I feel a bit more stable today so I am going forward with a new day, looking forward to loving that little child and grateful for the opportunity to meet my deeper self once again.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I know it went on for quite a while. I should write a big thick novel :o)

The Sleeping Monster

2008-04-30T01:20:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone,
I have an audio post for you tonight. You can listen to it on my Utterz player on the right or you can find it here. I would love any feedback you have.

xoMichellexo

Mexican Fiesta

2008-04-29T20:21:00.005-05:00

Dinner tonight was delicious. I was so thrilled with it as usual lately. I decided to make this because yesterday my husband was telling me how much he is enjoying eating healthy but that he comes home and ends up eating poorly because it is easier. He said that often he doesn't even feel that good after eating dinner but it's just too hard to make something different.

The problem is that we have such different tastes in food. He wouldn't be caught dead eating nori rolls or much of what I love. He tasted my pate and he didn't like it. I tend to be able to eat what he likes but not the other way around. He loves, loves, loves Mexican food so I know I can make him happy if I serve him up something spicy.

So tonight I made fajita vegetables from The Complete Book of Raw Food . The flavor was really nice, spicy and flavorful and the vegetables were soft but still had a nice bite. I also made a Spanish "Rice" from Gone Raw. This was a little bland but still good.

I ended up putting it into a collard wrap with sliced avocado for a taco. It was messy but good. In end I just ate it by itself. I should have made some tortilla wraps but I didn't think about it until it was too late and I didn't have 6 hours to dehydrate them. Next time.

My husband ended up not liking the "rice". He doesn't like cauliflower so I knew it was a stretch but her put the avocado and vegetables in flour tortillas and he really liked it. He ate it all up. Success! The good thing is that the vegetables are pretty easy to make so I can whip that up easily for him to keep him happy. I will probably make a double batch next time.

Fajita Vegetables
By Chad Sarno

1 1/2 cups thin strips of red bell pepper
1 cup thin strips yellow bell pepper
1 cup thin strips of zucchini
1 TB minced garlic
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
3 TB minced oregano
3 TB lemon juice
3 TB olive oil
1 1/2 TB chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp Celtic sea salt

Toss all ingredients together in a bowl. Marinate for up to 1 hour or dehydrate for 2 hours to soften and warm.

I used Spanish onion instead of yellow bell pepper and I didn't have any fresh oregano so I used dried. The recipe says it serves 6. My husband and I ate the whole thing. Oops!

Spanish Rice
Makes a large bowl. Can easily be halved. Keeps well for a few days.
This recipe is taken from How We All Went Raw by Charles Nungesser and Stephen Malachi

Ingredients
1 head cauliflower, grated in a food processor
4 green onions, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
1 orange bell pepper, diced
1 jalapeno pepper, diced
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
¼ cup cilantro, diced
1 avocado, mashed
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon paprika
½ tablespoon sea salt
¼ cup cold pressed extra virgin olive oil

Mix together well and serve.

I love food!

2008-04-29T13:03:00.005-05:00

I have been so thrilled with eating again. Exploring all of the textures and tastes of raw food has been a delight. I am getting back into the swing of things since going off my juice feast. My stomach is feeling better, I am no longer suffering from the energy drain I experienced in the first days after introducing food and I am actually a pretty regular visitor to the bathroom so woo hoo for me!

I had my first meal with seeds yesterday and I have to admit that I felt a bit of an addictive force re-enter my life for the first time. I made the Ginger Almond Pate from Ani Phyo's book, Ani's Raw Food Kitchen but I substituted sunflower seeds for the almonds. I made nori rolls with it. I put spinach, the pate, leftover marinated vegetables and bean sprouts.

OMG, it was seriously so good. I was shoving them in my mouth and I just couldn't stop eating them. I ate two rolls around 4:00 and then I made a third at 6:30 and ate it. As much as I truly enjoyed it I have to say that I don't really like the way I felt like I couldn't stop eating them. In fact, just typing this out has made me want to go make some more nori rolls! I didn't even get a chance to take a picture of them.

I spent the evening planning out a few things I want to make in the next several days and I went shopping for the ingredients today. The photo above is a salad I made with romaine lettuce, broccoli slaw, walnuts, dried cranberries and an orange cucumber dressing from Ani's book. The dressing sounded so good but I found it rather bland and lacking. I have quite a bit leftover so I am hoping as it sits the flavors will intensify and meld to enhance the taste. I love the crunch of the broccoli slaw in a salad though.

I went to an Italian restaurant for dinner with my family on Sunday. When I made the reservation I told them that I had a special diet and I was assured that I would be taken care of. I told the waiter that I only ate raw vegetables and asked if the chef could prepare a salad for me with those ingredients. The chef actually came to the table to talk to me. I told him again what I ate and that I was leaving it up to him to create something wonderful for me.

When my plate came out it looked absolutely beautiful. He had arranged it like a piece of art. Unfortunately it wasn't too exciting in the taste department. He had simply cut up raw zucchini, yellow squash, red pepper, mushrooms and grape tomatoes. That was it. No flavor, no nothing. Luckily I brought 1/2 of an avocado with me which I slathered over it like a dressing. It was fine then.

So overall I am doing fantastic. I am loving food and loving my life. I have such excitement about every meal and I am really excited about heading over to the raw food restaurant for a treat. I am hoping I can get over there in the next week.

For the Love of Broccoli Rabe

2008-04-27T10:22:00.007-05:00

I have always had a love affair with this leafy green vegetable. Before I ate raw I would saute it up with some olive oil and garlic with a sprinkle of toasted pine nuts. When I went raw I was so sad that I couldn't enjoy it anymore. Then I found out about massaged kale salad and I skipped the kale and went right to the rapini. I was in heaven. Coming off my juice feast I have been craving this so much I can't stop eating it. In fact I had it for breakfast this morning!

This leafy green has many different names including raab, rapa, rapine, rappi, rappone, fall and spring raab, turnip broccoli, taitcat, Italian or Chinese broccoli, broccoli rape, broccoli de rabe, Italian turnip, and turnip broccoli although it is best known here in the US as broccoli rabe or rapini.

It comes from the Mediterranean and China. I didn't realize that it was so widely used in Chinese cooking. Apparently it is the most popular vegetable in Hong Kong although the Chinese version is said to be lighter green and less bitter in taste. I am most familiar with the Italian style and that is how I eat it.

Although it's name would lead you to believe it is a member of the broccoli family that would be inaccurate. It is actually a decedent of a wild herb and part of the turnip family. It has a nutty, bitter taste rather like mustard greens. It is a source of vitamins A, C, and K, as well as potassium. You can buy it all year long, but its peak season is from fall to spring.

When buying these delicious greens look for bright green leaves that are crisp and not wilted. It will have small broccoli buds that may have yellow flower buds which are edible. Avoid any bunches that have yellowing leaves however.

To prepare the greens for raw dishes you will want to cut off the bottom stems that are tough and discard. Chop the remaining greens and buds up to make them easier to massage. Sprinkle with some good quality Celtic or Himalayan salt and get your hands in there to begin massaging. Of course we all know that the best Italian food is made with love so send your loving thoughts to your greens while you squeeze. You will be surprised at how quickly they will begin to wilt and take on that traditional cooked appearance.

Because some of the stems are thick I prefer to let the broccoli rabe sit out on the counter for a while to marinate and then I let it marinate in the refrigerator overnight. Before eating I either bring it back out onto the counter for a while to take the chill off or I put it in the dehydrator for a bit.

You can keep it simple and just add a bit of good quality cold pressed olive oil and garlic or you can go to town and add all kinds of things like mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, pine nuts, olives, fresh tomatoes, onion, red pepper flakes. Whatever sounds yummy will be.

Fun, Fun, Fun in the Kitchen

2008-04-26T15:32:00.006-05:00

What a wonderful day of eating I had today. I woke up around 7:00 and drove my son to school for his baseball game. I headed off to the store to pick up a few things and it was so fun to be able to go into different sections of the produce aisle.

When I got home I started preparing food for the day. It was so fun. First I made a Sweet and Sour Sauce from Snowdrop that I have made before that I think it so delicious.

Sweet and Sour Sesame Sauce
¾ c nama shoyu
¾ c honey (or agave)
2 cloves garlic
1 pc ginger as big as your thumb (equal to the amount of garlic approx)
2 T sesame seeds
2 T coconut oil
1 t sesame oil
2 t red pepper flakes

Chop the garlic & ginger so it doesn’t jam under your blades, and put all into the food processor and blend till the veggies are well pureed. The seeds will float up with the oils when left standing, that’s ok, just stir when using.

I put some broccoli slaw mix, bean sprouts, shitake mushrooms, cilantro, and green onions, in a bowl and mixed them with half of the sauce. I let it sit out on my counter for the day and get nice and soft. When I ate it for dinner later I drained off the liquid and added some more sauce on top. Yum!

Then I made some more of my special Broccoli Rabe.
1 bunch rapini chopped
celtic sea salt
olive oil
2 cloves of garlic minced
4-6 sun dried tomatoes chopped
6 mini portabella musrooms sliced
red onion chopped
1 med tomato chopped

I simply chop up the rapini and massage it with some celtic sea salt. Then I drizzle some olive oil over it. I added the rest of the ingredients and let it sit on the counter for the day. I will then move it into the refrigerator until the next day. You could put it in the dehydrator to warm it instead.

Last but not least I made some marinara sauce from Alissa Cohen's book, Living on Live Food. I love this sauce. It is so delicous and comes together quickly in the food processor. I made some zucchini noodles with my peeler (I have to get the saladacco!!! ), added some spinach that I massaged for a quick minute and some mini portabellas. I mixed the marinara with it and put it aside. I had plenty of marinara left over.

In less than an hour I had 3 meals prepared and ready to go with enough sauce left over to make at least 2 more dishes too! How cool is that? I was very excited.

The only thing I would have done differently is that I would not have mixed the zucchini with the marinara sauce until I was ready to eat it. It released too much water that I had to drain off and it still was a bit watery when I ate it. It still tasted delicious though. I knew about this but I forgot. It's been a while since I made that.

What a great raw day. I am loving food again and enjoying the ease of preparation and planning. I haven't introduced nuts back into my diet yet for a couple of reasons. The number one reason is that my stomach is a bit tender and nuts are harder to digest so I figure I will just wait and see what happens for a while. I am not craving them yet so I will just enjoy life without them for a while.

Fun Friday

2008-04-25T18:33:00.003-05:00

I've decided that I will put a little fun thing up on the blog on Fridays and I thought it would be a good way to start off my return to the raw blog. So I have taken Hanlie's lead (as usual) with this fun little game. I was amazed at her answers and how appropriate they were for the questions and lo and behold a lot of mine were too. Pretty cool.

The rules are simple: Hit the shuffle on your iPod, then answer each question by hitting next. No cheating!

Q: What does next year have in store for you?
A: That's Amore - Dean Martin

Q: What does your love life look like next year?
A: Have I told You Lately - Rod Stewart

Q: What do you say when life gets hard?
A: She Hates Me - Puddle of Mud

Q: Song that reminds you of good times?
A: Prayer - Disturbed (um, not really)

Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?
A: You Oughta Know - Alanic Morisette

Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding (or silver wedding anniversary?)
A: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan

Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?
A: Bungle in the Jungle - Jethro Tull

Q: Your favourite saying?
A: That Will Never Do - Otis Rush

Q: Favourite place?
A: Breathe - Faith Hill

Q: Most missed memory?
A: Alive - Pearl Jam

Q: What song describes your best friend?
A: Dance Me to the End of Love - Leonard Cohen

Q: What song decribes your ex?
A: Piece of Pie- Stone Temple Pilots

Q: Where would you go on an important date?
A: Moondance - Van Morrison

Q: Drug of choice?
A: Allison Road - Gin Blossoms

Q: What song describes yourself?
A: Silver Bells- Harry Connick Jr.

Q: What is the thing you like doing most?
A: Into the Wind - Miten with Deva Premal

Q: The song that best describes the President?
A: Throw Yourself Away - Nickleback (Rather appropriate I'd say)

Q: Where will you be in 10 years?
A: Remedy - The Black Crowes

Q: Your love life right now?
A:Praises for the World - Jennifer Berezan/ Chris Webster (ha ha, isn't that cute?)

Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?
A: Warm Love -Van Morrison

Q: How will you die?
A: It's a Long Way to the top - School of Rock (I'll take it)

I only skipped songs that were in another language (Mostly Italian. I have a lot of those).

New Blog

2008-01-30T08:45:00.000-06:00

Hi all,
I know I have been MIA these days. I have started a new blog to go along with my new Juice Feast. I just thought it would be better to keep them separate. So if you are interested in following along, join me at:

http://juicefeastingforvibranthealth.blogspot.com

See you there!

Winter Break

2008-01-18T14:32:00.000-06:00

The weather is COLD and we got just a hint of snow. The skies have been gray and I have been seriously missing the sun. I am leaving for Florida in just two days! I can't wait to feel the sun on my face and to see the green foliage and the beautiful blue ocean.

The problem is that every year our family goes to Florida during the winter. I know we are so lucky to be able to do it and it is a wonderful break from the winter which I am not a fan of at all. I know it doesn't seem like a problem right? Well it is actually the beginning of my inner turmoil. It seems that once I get in the warmer climate it makes me feel like I am living in the wrong part of the world. I begin dreaming, scheming and planning my big move somewhere warm. It is such a waste of energy because it is not possible for me to move. It doesn't stop me from trying to come up with some way to make it happen or from feeling unhappy about my plight in life. (hmmmm, victimization?)

Every fall I begin thinking that "this will not happen to me this year!" I have even had themes such as last year's "Embracing Winter". I spent my time appreciating the sunsets, the snow, the frost on my windows. All the things that good winter lovers enjoy. It only worked until about January and I was over it.

I have lived in this climate my whole life and never truly have never enjoyed it. I was the girl who would start off walking to the sled hill to join her friends only to turn around and head back home. I was the girl who would never make a snowman, ice skate or ski because she hated the cold so much. Winter and Michelle just don't mix.

So I embark on yet another trip into the glory of a tropical climate. The sun, the surf, the sand and gentle breeze. The swimming, boating, beach bumming and warm weather fun. I am excited about the 5 day break and a bit nervous about the let down of returning home. Maybe this year will be different. :o)

Today I ate a delicious green smoothie for breakfast, and some collard wraps using my cheese from yesterday and whatever veggies I had in the fridge. I made some green juice and shared the wealth with the kids that were in the house. Ha ha, they did not like it very much. My son's friend started gagging and I got a little worried he would have some issues but he kept it down. The funny thing is that it tasted sooo sweet to me that I couldn't believe they didn't like it.

I am still on track with my 21 day challenge and I am beginning to think that I maybe I should have chosen things that were a bit harder because it has been such a breeze. Hmm is that weird or what? I take that back. I am doing great and I am so proud of myself!!!

Picture from pseudoserious on flickr

Wonderful Day

2008-01-17T19:34:00.000-06:00

I am here on day 4 of my 21 day challenge and I am doing great. I have completed all three tasks everyday. The thing I am so amazed by is that it isn't the food or exercise that has given me the greatest joy. It is the meditation!!! I have been feeling so fantastic and full of joy that I can't even tell you. I have continued meditating for longer than the 15 minutes because it feels so good.

Yesterday while I was meditating this old issue that I will spare you the details of kept popping up. I kept pushing it away, you know like a "good girl" :o) Finally I thought I should probably dive into and see what was there. Wowee! There was a lot there. I had emotion coming up that was stored in my body for many, many years. I have never been able to do a Journey process on myself, by myself without some kind of CD. Well yesterday it just flowed. It was my first solo journey and I was left feeling so clear.

When I opened my eyes after 2 hours and 15 minutes!!! I was laughing through tears. I was so uplifted and light and felt like I lost so much emotional baggage that I felt like I lost 50 pounds. I was filled with gratitude that was so strong that it was making me giggle with joy.

I was pretty pooped last night. These clearings take place on a cellular level so there can be some detox. I was feeling a bit puffy and drained so I went to bed early and woke up this morning feeling so good. I was dancing around my kitchen today which isn't usually like me. It just feels so good!!!!!

It just dawned on me that I haven't been writing much about what I am eating lately and this is supposed to be about my raw adventure after all. I think that these emotional milestones are so intertwined with what I eat that it is an important part of my raw adventure. I can tell you that today I had some delicious oranges for breakfast and I made some raw nacho cheese and filled up some kale leaves with it. I topped it with celery, red pepper, carrot, and tomato. It was pretty good.

I am seriously thinking about starting a juice feast when I return from Florida. I am about 80% convinced at this part...well, maybe 90% ;o) I figured it out on the calendar and I can definitely do 14 days and then 6 days to come off. That will take me right up to the next long weekend we have planned with the kids. I know my body really needs a longer feast so I am leaving it open to continuing past 14 days. We shall see.

That's it for tonight. Sleep well my friends!

My Year For Vibrant Health

2008-01-16T08:36:00.000-06:00

Last night I was fortunate enough to sit in on a Journey Grad call about setting our intentions for 2008. Wow, what a powerful call it was for me. I have already completed some goal setting exercises that were fantastic and most helpful. Typically when we spend time setting goals we are operating from the level of the mind. This Journey session was completely different because it came from the level of the soul.

We started out the call with a brief meditation where I was transported to a deep place of source so effortlessly. My friend Skip who lead the call did something that I did not expect but which I am grateful for. He had us take time to clear out all the things that happened to us in 2007. The good and the bad. He stated that in order to be open for new things to come to us in 2008 we need to make room for them. It reminds me of the saying "Nature abhors a vaccuum." So as I vaccuum out, grace will fill in. Brilliant!

From that place we began free writing all the things we are grateful for over the past year. This was very moving for me and I was brought to tears. My heart was filled with all the fantastic things that I was blessed with over the year. It was so good to take a moment and honor my life and those that are in it, to honor the gifts that I have and that I don't always appreciate in my day to day life.

From here we went onto setting intentions for this year. What made it so powerful was that we didn't ask "What do I want for this year?" Instead we asked "What does Grace most want for me this year?" What a difference this made. I was overcome with emotion and began free writing though the tears. I wrote two pages of things and the thing that ended up being most profound for me was the following:

Grace wants me to have vibrant health, inner and outer beauty, full energy and zest for life. To never forget my inner beauty and inner strength.

As I read over those words I knew that was my soul speaking.

When we finished we were given the chance to speak our deepest and most heartfelt intention aloud to the group. I read mine and everyone replied "so be it." I have to tell you that I felt a wave of energy pass through my body that was so powerful and strong that I began sobbing in gratitude because I just knew that it was complete. I knew that this intention was already manifest and that I will simply move toward it throughout the year.

I sat and sobbed for quite a while as the call finished up and I hung up resting in the most amazing peace, gratitude and clarity that I haven't known since the last week I spent with The Journey. It was amazing and I can't tell you how grateful I am to have been able to be introduced to these amazing people that spread The Journey message to the people of the world.

When I looked back over my notebook I noticed that at the bottom of the page I had written:

2008 My Year For Vibrant Health!!!!!

I truly believe this with all my heart and I go forward each and every day with this intention held out to my soul and to the universe.

Photo by Alfanhui on flickr

Moola Mantra

2008-01-14T10:08:00.000-06:00

Om
Sat Chit Ananda Parabrahma
Purashothama Paramatma
Sri Bhagavathi Sametha
Sri Bhagavathe Namaha

The Moola Mantra is magical for me. It is something that when I take the time to do it brings me such a deep peace and oneness. I was introduced to it at a Journey Seminar. I purchased the CD and brought it home with me. Once I got home and began listening to it and chanting with it I was swept away. I can't begin to tell you how fantastic this mantra make me feel.

Today is day 1 on my 21 day challenge being hosted by Frederick Patrenaude where I have chosen 3 things from different areas of my life that I want to make daily habits. My choices are:

1. Eat Raw for Breakfast and Lunch

2. Do the Five Tibetans

3. Meditate at least 15 minutes

So today while completing my 15 minutes of meditation I decided to listen to my Moola Mantra CD. I haven't listened to it in such a long time so I wasn't expecting much of anything. Well let me tell you. It was powerful. I ended up listening to it for 30 minutes and then continuing a silent meditation for another 15 minutes for a total of 45 minutes! Wow, did it feel good.

There are many different versions of the Moola Mantra but my favorite is from Kosmic Music. You can listen to a sample of it here. It is one recording that is repeated 4 times so you can choose to listen to it in 15 minute increments.

I am not well educated in Yoga traditions and history so when I began using the Moola Mantra I didn't really know anything about it. I simply knew that it made me feel GOOD. So I decided to do a little research on it to find out what the heck I was listening to. I will share the information with you so you can check it out.

Moola means root and Mantra is a Sacred syllable or word, or set of words through the repetition and reflection of which one attains perfection.

Here is a definition I got from http://www.onenessmovement.org

When ever you chant this Vedic Mantra even without knowing the meaning of it - the Moola Mantra itself carries power. But when you know the meaning and chant with that feeling in your heart then the energy would flow million times more powerful. Therefore it is essential to know the meaning of the Mantra when you use it.

The Mantra is like calling a name. Just like when you call a person he comes and makes you feel his presence, the same manner when you chant this mantra, the supreme energy manifests everywhere around you. As the Universe is Omnipresent, the supreme energy can manifest anywhere and any time. It is also very important to know that the invocation with all humility, respect and with great necessity makes the presence stronger.

The meaning of Moola Mantra:

OM :
OM has got 100 different meanings. It is said; in the beginning was the Supreme word and the word created every thing. That word is OM. If you are meditating in silence deeply, you can hear the sound OM within. The whole creation emerged from the sound OM. It is the primordial sound or the Universal sound by which the whole universe vibrates. OM also means inviting the higher energy. This divine sound has the power to create, sustain and destroy, giving life and movement to all that exist.

SAT-CHIT-ANANDA :

SAT means, all penetrating existence that is formless, shapeless, omnipresent, attribute less, and quality less aspect of the Universe. It is the Un manifest. It is experienced as emptiness of the Universe. We could say it is the body of the Universe that is static. Every thing that has a form and that can be sensed, evolved out of this Un manifest. It is so subtle that it is beyond all perceptions. It can only be seen when it has become gross and has taken form. We are in the Universe and the Universe is in us. We are the effect and Universe is the cause and the cause manifests itself as the effect.

CHIT is the Pure Consciousness of the Universe that is infinite, omni-present manifesting power of the Universe. Out of this is evolved everything that we call Dynamic energy or force. It can manifest in any form or shape. It is the consciousness manifesting as motion, as gravitation, as magnetism, etc. It is also manifesting as the actions of the body, as thought force. It is the Supreme Spirit.

ANANDA means bliss, love and friendship nature of the Universe. When you experience either the Supreme Energy in this Creation (SAT) and become one with the Existence or experience the aspect of Pure Consciousness (CHIT), you enter into a state of Divine Bliss and eternal happiness (ANANDA). This is the primordial characteristic of the Universe, which is the greatest and most profound state of ecstasy that you can ever experience when you relate with your higher Consciousness.

PARABRAHMA is the Supreme Being in his Absolute aspect; one who is beyond space and time. It is the essence of the Universe that is with form and without form. It is the Supreme creator.

PURUSHOTHAMA has got different meanings. Purusha means soul and Uthama means the supreme; the Supreme spirit. It also means the supreme energy of force guiding us from the highest world. Purusha also means Man, and PURUSHOTHAMA is the energy that incarnates as an Avatar to help and guide Mankind and relate closely to the beloved Creation.

PARAMATMA means the supreme inner energy that is immanent in every creature and in all beings, living and non-living. It's the indweller or the Antaryamin who resides formless or in any form desired. It's the force that can come to you whenever you want and wherever you want to guide and help you.

SRI BHAGAVATI is the female aspect, which is characterized as the Supreme Intelligence in action, the Power (The Shakti). It is referred to the Mother Earth (Divine Mother) aspect of the creation.

SAMETHA means together or in communion with

SRI BHAGAVTE is the Male aspect of the Creation, which is unchangeable and permanent.

NAMAHA is salutations or prostrations to the Universe that is OM and also has the qualities of SAT-CHIT-ANANDA, that is omnipresent, unchangeable and changeable at the same time, the supreme spirit in a human form and formless, the indweller that can guide and help in the feminine and masculine forms with the supreme intelligence. I seek your presence and guidance all the time.

My Baby Is Coming Home!

2008-01-10T08:13:00.000-06:00

My little guy has been gone since Monday and he is coming back tonight! I have missed him and I can't wait for him to get home. Of course he hasn't missed us too much. His grandpa has let him run wild eating whatever he wants, staying up late and they have had tons of fun going boating, to the beach, the zoo, fishing, and more. He actually called last night to ask if he could stay longer. Ha, no way baby, I need some Aidan lovin!

I am feeling much better today. I have actually been having some nasty detox symptoms for the last few days. I was drained of energy, achy, foggy and had THE worst headache that lasted for days. I never used to get headaches and now I get them so frequently. Anyway, I think the worst is over and except for a slight headache I am feeling good. I have energy and feel much more positive today.

I have taken up skin brushing again and my skin is feeling smoother already after just a few days. I have also started doing the Five Tibetans in the morning. I am trying to be better about following a routine in the morning.

I have been eating smoothies, fruit, salads, and green juice during the day. I am still eating with my family at night. I am mainly doing this because we are going to Florida for a vacation in about 10 days and I know I will not be able to eat raw the whole time I am there. I am thinking that I will go more gung-ho after the vacation.

The funny thing is that there was a part of me that was looking forward to my little guy being gone for a few days. I knew that I would have the whole day to myself to get so much done. I had visions of completing so many tasks and having this freedom that I haven't had. Well, going through a detox doesn't really let you do too much. So I have spent the time, lying around, napping or vegging in front of the TV. I was able to get on the computer a little bit and I did listen to some of my educational program yesterday. I certainly didn't get much done and it didn't look like what I had envisioned. Oh well, there is always next year when he goes to first grade. :o)

Color Freak

2008-01-09T09:34:00.000-06:00

I am a color freak! I love color. When I am preparing raw food for myself I notice that I am so driven by the color of the foods. I am thinking of the taste of course but I find myself thinking "hmmm I have green, orange, white, and brown in this salad. Red would be beautiful."

My favorite addition to a salad these days are pomegranate seeds. Not really for the taste because they sort of disappear in there but the color is fabulous! I love that dark, vibrant shiny red color peeking out from behind my lettuce. Ooh, it makes me crazy just thinking about it.

See what I mean? How crazy am I. The other day I was taking the seeds out of a pomegranate and going on and on about the color of them. I realized that I was out of control and said to my hubby something like, "I don't know what my problem is with color of food." He just smiled a smile that says "Yeah, I have no idea what your problem is." My next sentence was, "Seriously, look at the color of these seeds!" He just laughed.

One area that this color addiction gets me into trouble is in my smoothie preparation. This morning I had pineapple, coconut water and spinach. That combination makes a dark, rich green color that I get jazzed about. The thing is I had some strawberries that were in the fridge and needed to be eaten so I added them in. I thought about the color change so I only put a few in so it wouldn't turn brown (which I hate, hate, hate). Well it turned this yucky green color, kind of like split pea soup which for me is BAD. UGH! Foamy green pea soup.

I am a slave to color.

It doesn't take me much to get excited!

2008-01-07T08:09:00.000-06:00

OK, I am so excited because I found mason jars! I know, I know it sounds crazy but you have to understand that I have been looking all over for them and couldn't find them because it is out of season. Not to mention the looks I got from people in the stores that I asked. They must have thought I was crazy. They kept asking, "Are you canning now?" Little do they know that not only am I not canning I am not cooking. :o)

Now I have a supply of beautiful glass jars that I can store my smoothies and juice in. I even managed to find some plastic lids that screw onto the jars for storage in the fridge. It is a good day.

When I got home I decided to make myself a nice green juice. I had read on Courtney Pool's blog that you could put the stuff in the Vita-Mix and then strain it through a nut bag so I thought I would give it a try. Well, I must have missed something because I couldn't get it to work. I even tried adding a little water but the stuff wouldn't blend. I ended up taking out my trusty juicer and and finishing it up. I will have to go back and try to figure out what I did wrong so I can try it again.

Life is good. I am here at my desk drinking my vibrant green smoothie out of a glass mason jar. Yippee!

More Than The Physical

2008-01-05T11:06:00.000-06:00

I have been studying my educational class from the Creative Health Institute and learning all I can about the Living Foods approach to life. As I learn these things I keep getting bombarded with this feeling of being overwhelmed by all the changes, all the things that have to be done to be able to live this lifestyle.

I was watching a DVD on food combining and the man was talking about how our beliefs can effect how we accept the foods we eat. It got me thinking about my beliefs and how they effect my success on this life change. I feel like it is going to be hard therefore it is hard. The mind has such power that I am setting myself up for failure with this type of mindset. I am due for a mind change around this topic.

This is where my struggle lies. I have known for a long time what is good for my body and what isn't. I know the effects of eating sugar, meat, processed foods, coffee and the other things that I tend to eat when I am out of balance. Somehow even though I know this, I don't stop. It is frustrating and there is a sense of being powerless. I know that it is my choice and I need to own these choices. I feel like I am still on the path. I still have work to do in this area. I haven' t quite figured out how to get past the subconscious programing I have that is driving me to continue to abuse my body.

So with all of the knowledge I am getting, there is a piece missing for me that I have to find. I will continue with the learning and I will go forward because I feel that cleaning out on a physical level will help clean out on other levels and because my body is crying out for some cleansing. It is overburdened and toxic and begging for a break. I will continue working on the emotional and subconscious level also to uncover what is holding me back.

Keeping Warm

2008-01-03T12:50:00.001-06:00

So everyone who knows me knows that I am always cold and when winter comes I am FREEZING! I guess even Santa knows cuz I got many gifts this year to help keep me warm.

I told you about my Lava Buns yesterday. That is a fantastic! I also got a pair of Isotoner Pillowstep slippers. They are so cushy and warm. Of course they only felt like pillows for the first 5 minutes until the weight of my body smooshed them down into a flat pancake. They have a hard sole though so it feels like I am wearing shoes in the house and they keep me so warm.

I got a hat, scarf and glove set too that is so soft and silky. I just love it. Believe it or not I have been walking around the house with it on so I can keep a constant warm temperature. At least I'm warm and toasty even if I look a bit crazy.

One of the things that I have been using a lot that I already had is my mummy sleeping bag. I bought it for when I am sitting outside in the cold watching my kids play sports. I finally decided that I couldn't stand another year out there freezing so I got it for myself. I felt a little silly at first all bundled up with the hood on but as the wind whipped and the temperature dropped and people around me began to fidget and freeze I was actually toasty warm. Suddenly people were looking at me with desire. I can't wait to add my Lava Buns to the mummy sleeping bag this spring. I am going to be so warm it is ridiculous.

So anyway, I have been using my sleeping bag at my desk. I have it on my chair and I can slip my feet in and out of it and zip it up to cover my legs as needed. I have to tell you that it has been making a world of difference.

So, if you are cold like me then I hope one of these ideas works for you too. Stay warm!

Photo by Borderfilms (Doug) on flickr

2008

2008-01-02T09:46:00.000-06:00

What a fantastic new year it has been for me. I am so blessed to have been able to spend the last two days with my friends and family and I have loved every minute of it.

One one hand it is sad to see it end and on the other it is good to try and get back into the swing of things even though my kids are still home from school until next week. I won't really get back in the swing until they are back in school.

It is a frozen tundra here. I mean really cold. My 14 year old got me something called Lava Buns for Christmas. It is a pad that you can put in the microwave to warm it up. It is actually is supposed to be used at outdoor sporting events but I was using it at my desk to keep toasty warm. When I go out today I am going to be bundled up from head to toe.

I got some great goal setting help from Dhrumil and I spent some time working on them. It feels good to have some positive goals to begin the new year with. I have goals that span all different areas of my life from my health to my career so I am feeling good. I feel much more focused on what I want and I feel like things are getting done already. I still want to make a copy of the goals so that I can easily look at them each day.

On the health side of it I received my educational program from the Creative Health Institute and I began watching the videos yesterday. There are 15 sections with 2 videos per section. I have watched 4 videos so far. Two of the videos have been filled with great information and I learned a lot from them. The other two were OK. One was on testimonials and the other was fair. Overall I am learning and I am looking forward to continuing the education and learning how to incorporate all of these things into my own detox.

I am off to Bouncetown, an indoor facility filled with inflatable bounce toys. My 5 and 7 year old are going to love it.

The Reality

2007-12-30T11:11:00.000-06:00

Ugh! OK so apparently what I say and what I do are not quite matching up these days. I am not used to this paradox. Usually if I say it, I do it.

I have been unable to keep up with the raw eating even during the day. We have been running so much that I haven't had the time to shop and prepare so that I can bring the foods with me. We have had parties or get togethers every night and don't get me wrong we are having a ton of fun. It just feels bad that I am not sticking with the eating.

And then I think of what Abraham says that it doesn't matter what you eat, it matters how you FEEL when you are eating it. So I am going to go with the flow and enjoy the next few days eating whatever. I am not going to get caught up in it. It is a strange time to try and commit anyway.

I will however begin anew after the new year. I have ordered the educational program from www.chidiet.com and it is due to be delivered some time next week. That will really help with the motivation and I am hoping I will have some direction.

So, that is it. I hope I am not letting anyone down but I am just being honest and letting you know where I am at. I could have easily come on and posted some BS about how great I have been eating but I don't lie so instead you get the whole, hard truth.

See you after the new year!

2007-12-27T01:57:00.000-06:00

The first time I went raw I went cold turkey and made it for 4 months. Then I went totally off and back to eating every horrible thing. I gained back all of the weight I lost and once again I am looking tired and fat.

This time I decided to try and do it part way. Eat raw most of the time and not stress about it. Well it was working in the beginning. I was motivated and things were fine. Slowly however I notice my motivation began to slip and it suddenly became easier to just eat what my family was eating for dinner rather than make myself a whole separate meal. Then it was easier to do that at lunch too and heck, why not just forget the whole thing.

I have pretty much fallen off totally by eating everything cooked these last few days. I just gave up. I had so much work to do that I just couldn't bother worrying about it. It is frustrating but here is the way I am looking at it. I have found that this is a pretty common thing that happens in many different areas of my life.

I equate it to a pendulum. When in motion the pendulum swings rapidly back and forth. That is sort of what I have been doing with learning to deal with my eating habits. I swing one way to raw and then I swing the other way to unhealthy cooked and then back and forth I go.

I believe the key is that as the pendulum begins to lose its momentum it begins to slow down and the movement becomes less pronounced and begins to hang out more in the middle. That is where I am learning to live in regards to my eating. These ups and downs, failures and successes are a natural learning curve and with continued diligence I will find the middle ground.

I have decided I need to be more specific with what I will eat and what I won't eat or else I will find excuses to have a bite of this or that. Here is my new plan.

From now until the new year...

I will have only raw food for my daytime meals - breakfast, lunch and any snacks.

I will allow myself cooked food for dinner

After the new year...

I will be going back to 100% raw.

I believe my pendulum is losing momentum!

It's a Wonderful Life!!!

2007-12-26T18:59:00.000-06:00

OK, I love, love, love this movie. It is one of my all time favorites and has been since I first saw it as a teenager. I watch it every year and cry my eyes out. I just finished watching it this year and once again I was reduced to a blithering mess...in a good way.

It is such a sweet movie and a great message. It really makes me think about my life and how blessed I am. I think it is so easy to lose track of all the wonderful things that we have in our lives and it is nice to stop and spend some time in gratitude for everything.

Of course you don't want to only do this just once a year at Christmas (even though for many years of my life that is what I did). Now that I know better, I do better and I make it a point to spend time in reflection and gratitude at least once a day. For me it is usually in the evening as I lie awake in bed. I think over my day and all the things I am grateful for. It is a great way to center and to fall asleep in a good place.

Of course as we near the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 so many people are looking forward to resolutions and plans for next year which is a positive and healthy thing to do. I think it is also good to look back in reflection at the year we have had and for all the things that we are grateful for.

I usually do this with my Christmas letter I send out. This year I did the video Christmas card and it was a light hearted and fun way to revisit my family's year. I plan on taking some more quiet time before the end of the year to look back at the changes and growth I have made personally this year. This will help me plan the next year. What is that saying "if you don't know where you come from, you don't know where you're going?" I find that to be especially true at this time of year.

Ooh La La Mojo jito!

2007-12-24T17:34:00.000-06:00

Who needs alcohol when you can make a drink like this? It is absolutely delish and feels like quite a treat. It is fresh and tangy and the kombucha gives it a slight alcohol taste. I love this drink!

I got the recipe from G Living. You can watch a video of it being made if you like. I halved it since I was just making it for myself but as soon as I made it my hubby wanted some too so I should have doubled it.

2 Key Limes (I used regular limes)

5 mint leaves (I used more)

1/4 c. agave

1 pitcher sparkling water

2 c. ice

1 1/2 cup kombucha

Quarter limes and put in a shaker

Add agave and muddle (I put the mint in and then muddled)

Add ice

Add mint

Add kombucha

add water

Shake gently then release the bubbles and shake again

Pour into glasses

I don't have a shaker so I just did it in a glass and mixed it up. Enjoy!

Still searching for help

2007-12-23T21:38:00.000-06:00

After doing more research on the local detox center I found several people with bad experiences. I also searched other places that had nothing bad to say about them so I am going to pass on it and continue searching. If anyone has any suggestions or experiences with them I would love to hear about them. This is my number one goal for the beginning of 2008.

I am so ready for Christmas. I love this holiday. It is my absolute favorite! I love everything about it. I love the stockings, the tree, the lights, Santas, ornaments, making hot chocolate for the kids on Christmas eve and leaving cookies for Santa and carrots and oats for the reindeer. It is all just so perfect and fills me up inside. I can't wait to watch them open presents on Christmas morning and spend the day with my family all cozy and warm while the wind and snow whip around outside! What could be better?!?

Health opportunity

2007-12-20T17:37:00.000-06:00

Had a long talk with a woman at a healing center right here in Wheaton. It sounds like just what I need to really get myself on the right path. I feel like I am struggling so much with what to eat and how to eat. I see all these people who eat all different kinds of raw diets and they are thriving and thrilled with it and I just don't get it. I don't think I have found MY path yet.

I think what really threw me for a loop was when I made a big juice for my husband to help him boost his immunity and fight of a cold. I juice everyday and I like it. My husband had one juice and told me how much energy he had and how great he felt even though he was sick. I have never felt that. It made me even more certain that I need some help. I just can't continue to guess and hope I am doing the right thing and continue to be sick.

So this doctor does a huge amount of testing to find the root cause of your symptoms. In fact they don't even want to know your symptoms when you arrive in the office. They simply look at the results of the 20 page report from the blood test, urinalysis, neuroscan, heart rate variability, blood oxygen and more. From there he can see what your symptoms are and help you on the path to healing the root cause.

They also follow a raw food diet and teach classes, etc. I can't believe it is only about 20-30 minutes from my house. It seems too good to be true and now I just have to have a talk with the hubby so I can schedule an appointment and get started on the path to healing.

Conversation with Myself

2007-12-19T18:51:00.001-06:00

"mmm, I could really go for one of those carmel chai lattes they sell at the Green Leaf Cafe. It is so yummy and I have just enough time to run in and pick it up before Aidan gets home from school."

"Do I really NEED the latte? It is loaded with sugar and has dairy in it. It is not good for me. I should just go home."

"Of course I don' t NEED it but I want it. It's cold out and it would be so warming. It would feel all snugly."

It isn't that cold out. The sun is shining and it feels like it is a billion degrees in this car. Just go home and make a green juice. It will taste good and just think of all the nutrients you will be getting."

"Yeah, that's true. It would be good and I'll bet I will be quite satisfied after I drink it. I always am. It's just such a pain to have to cut everything up and then clean the juicer when I am done."

"Oh please Michelle, it will take you 15 minutes to do it. That's at least how long it would take you to get out of the car and go in the coffee shop to get the latte. Stop making excuses and be good to yourself!"

"You're right! I will go home and make green juice. It will be wonderful!"

That's one for the good guys (or girl)!

Back on the Raw Train

2007-12-18T12:36:00.001-06:00

I'm back! I am making raw food again and liking it! Woo Hoo. I am off to go shopping to stock up the fridge. I cleaned it out by making this delicious Asian Salad. I made the sweet and sour sesame sauce from Snowdrops Sesame Chicken and then mixed it with bok choy, red and yellow peppers, broccoli, carrots, and green onions. I am letting it marinade until dinner but I can tell you that I already sneaked a taste and oh my goodness!!! It is good!!

sweet & sour sesame sauce

¾ c nama shoyu

¾ c honey (or agave)

2 cloves garlic

1 pc ginger as big as your thumb (equal to the amount of garlic approx)

2 T sesame seeds

2 T coconut oil

1 t sesame oil

2 t red pepper flakes

chop the garlic & ginger so it doesn’t jam under your blades, and put all into the food processor and blend till the veggies are well pureed. The seeds will float up with the oils when left standing, that’s ok, just stir when using.i made more that this recipe called for, because i will be using this on lots more veggies the next couple of days, as it is mind blowing good.

It makes a lot so either plan on using it for a couple of days or make half.

Weekend

2007-12-17T18:43:00.000-06:00

So I had a great weekend. I watched two of my sons play their basketball games and they were very exciting games. I got a lot of shopping done and I even got to spend some alone time with my hubby. We also went to a fun, family Christmas party. It was a great weekend.

I guess the only problem was that I didn't stay raw over the weekend. The funny thing is that I feel fine with it. I didn't have any problems with it until I went to fill out my blog today. I guess since the name of my blog is Michelle's Raw Adventure I feel obligated to post about the raw food that I eat. So if I eat cooked food I suddenly feel like it doesn't fit in with the blog.

Now I ask myself, is this my life or is it my blog? Obviously it is my life so I shouldn't feel obligated to a blog. That sounds crazy but it is real.

I guess since it is my adventure then I am here to tell you about the good, the bad and the ugly even though in my eyes it's all good! So I ate cooked. I even had a chai latte (no coffee though so that is good). I had fish too. It was all good and I'm okay.

I do have to say that it is a bit harder to get back in the swing of things once I have eaten cooked. Suddenly it is just easier to eat what everyone else is and since Christmas is just around the corner I might as well just go with the flow and start again after the holiday...Oh, sorry, that is just my little inner voice talking.

So I will have to see how things go and try to stay healthy no matter what I decide to eat.

Only 8 days until Christmas!!!

Borrowed Earth Cafe

2007-12-14T11:22:00.000-06:00

I am so excited because a new raw food restaurant opened in the suburbs of Chicago! Only about 30 minutes from my house! Woo Hoo.

I went there this week to check it out and I was thrilled with the experience from the moment I got there.

To begin with, the owners Danny and Kathy were so friendly and nice. They welcomed me when I entered and took the time to chat with me about the restaurant, the raw food meetup group and raw food in general. They were genuinly nice people and you could tell that they weren't just trying to be nice.

The restaurant had some beautiful paint on the walls. I especially liked the red! Ooo la la. They had this ledge by the front window that was covered with rocks and looked really nice. The walls were a bit bare with some small photographs. When I got up close I could see that they were beautiful.

I ordered the Far Easter Wrap. It was really good. It came with a side of what looked like potato salad but was actually cauliflower and mushrooms in a thick sauce, some cucumber slices with hummus and a beautiful carrot salad. Everything was delicous. The flavor of the sauces didn't overpower the freshness of the produce. My favorite was the wrap. I loved the terriyaki sauce that was on it.

I really wanted to try their Rainbow pie but I was pretty full so I ordered some truffles to take home with me. One was coconut and the other I think was cinnamon. They were both very great and very satisfying.

So, I am thrilled that there is a suburban option for raw dining and I am even more thrilled that the people who own it are so wonderful and I hope nothing but the best for them!

http://www.borrowedearthcafe.com/

My Christmas Card

2007-12-13T20:47:00.000-06:00

I hope you enjoy my family Christmas card!

Some fun experimenting.

2007-12-11T23:13:00.000-06:00

I don't know what has come over me but I have been perusing the net for raw recipes. I am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to make all kinds of things. It started with the flax crackers, then some faux popcorn, then the carrot burgers, then a sort of Spanish rice concoction and finally some raw cookie dough.

I am out of control. I feel this powerful pull to make this food. It is strange because while I had a green smoothie for breakfast this morning I didn't have any of the green juice I have been enjoying before today. It is like the prepared dishes took the place of them. I barely had any greens today.

I don't think this is good. I need to make sure I get my greens and more water. Tomorrow if I still feel compelled to create than I will commit to at least one smoothie and one green juice. Good compromise. I am all about balance these days.
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So now about what I ate today. Hee hee, so much good stuff.

Here is how I make my flax crackers.

I soak the flax seed in water for a while to get them all nice and goopy. (I use the golden and the brown because I like the look of both of them mixed together)

Then I throw the following things in my food processor

tomatoes

onion

garlic

lime juice

cilantro

salt and pepper

ground flax seed (to get my omega 3s)

I mix that all together and then add the flax seeds and mix again.

I spread out onto my teflex sheets and dehydrate. Once they are firm I flip them and wait until they are nice and crispy. I usually leave them overnight.
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The popcorn substitute was really good too. I don't know if it tasted like popcorn but it was good nonetheless. I got the recipe here but it is pretty simple. I cut the cauliflower up into small pieces and dehydrated. Then I added a little olive oil and some nutritional yeast and viola!
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Let's see, the carrot burgers came from Alissa Cohen's book. They are a favorite of mine.

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The Spanish rice was a combination of recipes I have seen on the web.

I chopped up cauliflower in the food processor until it resembled rice.

Then I chopped up and added the following:

yellow pepper

red pepper

onion

cilantro

carrot

sun dried tomato

mushrooms

I made a sauce with avocado, lime juice, garlic, cumin, paprika, turmeric, chili powder, more cilantro, and some salt and pepper. I mixed it with the veggies and that's it. It was pretty good but a bit strong tasting for me.

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OK, the yummiest thing I ate today was the raw cookie dough recipe I got off freshtopia. You can watch a great video that shows it being made here. Wow was it good.

I ran some cashews through my juicer to make cashew butter and added some agave, vanilla, salt and cacao nibs. Delicious.
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Besides eating and un-cooking I have been working on my Christmas card. I am excited about it and can't wait to get it done. I will post it when I finish.

So I am off to make lunches for the kiddies and get some sleep.

Finally Able to Take Pictures...

2007-12-11T11:52:00.000-06:00

Even though they aren't that great. I am hoping to get a new digital camera for Christmas since my old one finally died out. Oh Santa, I've been a good girl this year!

So here is my lunch today. I made carrot burgers last night and flax crackers yesterday and I put them together with some spinach, carrot and onion. I wish I had more vegies in my fridge. I would love some tomato on there. I knew I should have gone out before the freezing rain came. Now I am stuck inside with limited resources. But hey, this is still yummy.

More later!

heartburn, indigestion and bloating oh my

2007-12-10T09:33:00.000-06:00

So whatever it was that got my stomach all out of whack has really set off quite a bit of trouble for me. All weekend I was struggling with it. I ended up going to the health food store and getting some papaya tablets to try and help. I was chewing on them all weekend.

Slowly but surely I seem to be getting better. I have been pretty careful about what I am eating. No more chocolate or nuts for a while. I am still going to keep taking the papaya. I have to tell you, the pain and annoyance of this heartburn is pretty severe. It really makes me careful. The only thing worse for me is the fear of my gallbladder attacks. UGH! They are ridiculous!

Anyway, I won't post what I ate over the weekend. I don't want to bore you! It was a lot of green smoothies and salads. I did go out to a mexican restaurant on Saturday night with my hubby and I had some fish.

I know, I know. It is the first meat I have had in 2 weeks. I said from the very beginning that I am not going to get hung up on my diet. I will not allow myself to take the joy out of life and feel guilty for anything I eat. This only leads me to feel like I can't do this and give up. I ate great for every other meal and snack so good for me!

OK, I am off to drink green juice and green smoothies followed by papaya pills. Keep your fingers crossed that my stomach will stay cool.

Tummy Troubles

2007-12-07T13:02:00.000-06:00

Picture is a mayan diety holding a cacao pod.

I bought some raw cacao and fo ti yesterday. I decided to make a chocolate shake that is supposed to taste like a frozen coffee. I have been missing my coffee lately. In the beginning the tea was taking the place and now I am off all caffeine tea and only drinking herbal tea. It just doesn't cut it. I miss that bite to the drinks. There is a sharp bit when you drink coffee and some teas that is lacking in the softer herbal teas. I don't quite know how else to explain it so that is the best I can say.

The recipe called for maca and they didn't have any at the store I went to so I substituted cashews. Let me tell you, it tasted pretty darn good. It didn't have that bite but it was still very tasty. It was more like a creamy chocolate than a coffee and I enjoyed it.

The problem was that I started to feel a bit sick after drinking it My stomach got a little bloated and I was getting waves of nausea. I rested on the couch for a while and I noticed that my stomach was pretty bloated for hours. It didn't feel good and later after I ate dinner I could feel a case of heartburn brewing just under the surface.

Since I have never had the raw chocolate or the fo ti it could be either one of those that did it. I also remembered from the last time I went raw that almond milk used to give me a similar sick feeling so it could be the nuts. I am going to experiment to find out what is causing the problem.

Of course in reality I am probably better off without things like that in my diet. I guess it is just nice to have something to occasionally treat myself with. Hmmmm I guess that is a pretty emotional response to eating and must have some subconscious origin. I think that is a good starting point for some kind of process to uncover the source. I will make a note.

My eating was pretty bad today thanks to the drink but here goes:

Breakfast- banana

Snack - 2 oz of wheatgrass (from Jamba Juice)

Lunch- coffee drink

Dinner- Salad with romaine, cilantro, orange, pine nuts, avocado, orange miso dressing.

Eat Pray Love

2007-12-06T13:17:00.000-06:00

I just got done watching the Oprah episode that had Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love on. This is one of my favorite books of all time. I couldn't put it down and it made a huge impact on my life. Watching the show got me thinking that I really want to read it again. I have to get it back from my mom so I can dive in again. I read it so fast the first time and I think this time I will slow down and savor it a bit more.

The lesson that I took most from the book is one of self care. Having a husband, 5 sons and 2 dogs I haven't always taken as much time for myself as I would like. I guess I never really felt like I deserved it. Since finding The Journey and taking the time to focus on my own healing I have begun to believe that I do deserve to be healthy and happy.

I think that getting control of my eating is a natural progression for me. By feeding my body what it needs to repair itself from years of abuse I am saying yes to my own soul and I am saying yes to health which allows me to say yes to happiness.

It is a process, a journey and I am taking it with excitement and gratitude. Everyday is a new learning experience for me. I now look at things in a new way and it is so refreshing. When I have a craving I am able to look at it and see what it is trying to tell me. What am I to learn from this overwhelming feeling? Often my lessons are lessons of self worth and everytime I am faced with them I have the opportunity to learn and to grow.

So what did I learn on Wed? I learned that I have strong emotional ties to food as I am sure many of us do. As the day goes on I become more weakened by the cravings and the desire for something "substantial." I do so well until about 5:00 and then I begin to pace around and start looking for something to eat. It is a sort of yearning for something. I wasn't exactly sure what it was and then I stopped and got quiet. I asked myself, what am I looking for? The answer that came to me was passion. Hmmm. I need to explore this. I do feel my life is lacking in passion. How do I find it? Which way do I turn? I will continue to contemplate this.

Breakfast-smoothie with banana, spinach, orange and flax

snack - banana

lunch- green juice with spinach, apple, celery, cucumber, kale, lemon, ginger

snack - orange

dinner- salad of spinach, dandelion, tomato, pine nuts, dried blueberries and garlic with a dressing of orange juice, olive oil, miso. Dandelion is too spicy for me.

cooked butternut squash with coconut oil, agave and salt.

Brrrrrr!

2007-12-05T14:57:00.000-06:00

It is cold here and there is snow as far as the eye can see. I am cold but I am sticking to my eating. In fact, I find myself not really wanting to eat the cooked food for dinner. Of course I am still doing it but I think that will be changing soon.

I miss the raw summit 2. I liked getting up every morning and learning something new. I liked that I could stay in my jammies wrapped up in a blankie and still learn from people all over the world. I mean how cool is that?

I have been incorporating more green juice into my diet. I am surprised that I like it. I have been adding one big huge apple to it to make it sweet. Today I only added 1/2 the apple and it still tasted good. Success.

It is quite silly but I get excited by the idea of drinking it. The color is so fantastic and I can see it swirling around in the glass and wow, I don't know, I like it. There is something cool about taking a counter full of vegies, putting it through a machine and drinking it. You just know you are getting so many good things in your body.

I am not getting headaches from it anymore. It only happend a couple of times. I did try to figure out why but didn't get any answers so I can't fill you in on that but the good thing is that it's over.

So here is what I've eaten for the last few days. I may have skipped a day, I don't know.

Monday
Green Smoothie with banana, kale, orange, tangerine, and flax

Snack- Green juice with kale, lemon, apple, celery, cucumber, parsley.

Lunch
The most delicous salad!
I used romaine lettuce and spinach
1 orange (I juiced half of it and cut up the other half)
1/2 pomegranite (I juiced half of the seeds and put the other half on the salad)
Pine nuts
1/2 avocado cut in chunks

I made the dressing with the juice, olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.

Dinner
Fennel Salad (I didn't really like it. It wasn't horrible. I just wouldn't make it again)
Cooked Butternut Squash soup

Tuesday
Green smoothies with banana, flax, kale, and orange.

Lunch- Raw Broccoli soup made with almond milk. (again, not a favorite. I ate it but I won't make it again)

Snack- Green juice with kale, cucumber, celery, lemon, ginger, dandelion, and apple (this one was a little bitter but after a couple of sips it was ok)

Dinner- Cooked spaghetti squash and brussel sprouts with coconut oil oil and a little salt.

If I get hungry I will have a piece of fruit throughout the day. Yummy!

Where does all the fat go?

2007-12-03T00:49:00.000-06:00

So I've lost 4 pounds this week since I have changed my eating. I was watching Oprah the other day and they had A LOT of people who lost A TON of weight. I am talking hundreds and hundreds of pounds. At the end of the show they were all on the stage and I starting wondering how much weight they had lost all together. I was hoping they would tell us but they didn't. Then I started wondering where all the fat goes. I mean think about it. If someone weighed 500 lbs and lost 300 of it, that is as much as 2 people. Where does all of that go? Imagine 2 big blobs of fat sitting next to you, that's a lot of fat.

Now, I know we excrete it out of our body and I guess it is mostly getting flushed down the toilet but then what? I couldn't help but imagine big junkyards of fat from all the weight loss that occurs. I know it's silly but that is what I was thinking.

It got me really thinking that I think it is just energy. Energy that gets trapped in the body and can't get out. Once you start unclogging and moving your body the energy is able to flow and it flows in your body only to flow out again easily and effortlessly.

Hmmm Ok, enough of the silly philosophy. Here is what I ate today:

Green smoothie with spinach, banana, and water.

Kale Cole Slaw

Cranberry Fruit Salad

Cooked Butternut Squash Soup with 1/2 Ezekiel English muffin

I roasted 1 squash in the oven and cut it up. I sauteed onion, garlic, carrot and celery in some olive oil. I added some broth and cooked until soft. I added the squash and blended. I added some salt, pepper, nutmeg, cinnamon and a touch of curry. It was yummy even though the consistency reminded me of the squash I used to feed my kids when they were babies.

Winter Challenge

2007-12-02T14:48:00.000-06:00

Ok, you can say what you want, but eating raw, cold foods in the midst of a winter snow storm is a bit difficult. All week I have been OK during the day because I have been staying in the house for the most part and not going out in the cold weather. Well it was a little different today because I was out in the cold, blowing wind with the snow and the sleet and when I got home the last thing I felt like eating was a salad. This is when I begin to wonder what is the best approach.

Anyway, here is what I ate for the last two days:

Friday: Breakfast Green smoothie with banana, spinach and orange with some ground flax seeds thrown in.

Lunch Nori rolls with sunflower seed pate, carrots, cucumber, and red pepper.

Dinner:Sauteed Broccoli Rabe with garlic and olive oil

Saturday: Breakfast Green smoothie with banana, spinach, and orange with flax seeds

Lunch: Cooked vegetable soup

Dinner: Cranberry fruit salad and later some cooked butternut squash

I had some friend over last night and they were all eating pizza that my husband made, drinking beer, eating pita chips and Oreo cake. I decided to make the fruit salad so I could feel like I was getting a treat for myself and I shared it with them. They really liked it.

It is funny to talk about eating raw with people. One of the men seemed genuinely interested. He rides his bike a lot and takes good care of himself so he was asking legitimate questions. The funny thing is the talk of protein. He has read many health magazines and he was giving me the proper amount of grams of protein needed to keep muscle mass.

I told him about Tim Van Orden and his quest for the Olympics while eating a raw vegan diet and how we don't need as much protein as we've been told. I talked about amino acids being the building blocks of protein and that if you eat enough green leafy vegetables you will be able to make the protein.

He listened respectfully and I don't think it convinced him :o) I sent him the link to Tim's website so he can check it out for himself. After all, we all have to find our own way and I know that this way of life is so bizarre to people who are only exposed to mainstream ideas. At least we had an intelligent and thought provoking conversation rather than some of the other conversations I have had with friends.

Slump in the Eating

2007-11-30T07:33:00.001-06:00

So today was a little rough. The day started out great. I had an appointment with a woman to do a Journey process. I got up, made my green smoothie, put it in a big travel container, packed some nuts and an apple and headed out. I felt great.

The appointment finished up around 12:30 and I wasn't really that hungry so I had a handful of nuts and went to Whole Foods. A little later I had my apple. By the time I got home I was dragging. I was so tired that I couldn't stand it. I decided to just eat a cooked sweet potato that I had because it required no preparation. It didn't help. I decided to rest on the couch.

For dinner I had some cauliflower soup. This was really yummy and I enjoyed it. I felt a little better but still really tired. I hope I get some more energy tomorrow.

Cauliflower Soup

I sauteed 1/2 onion and 2 garlic cloves, minced in some olive oil until soft. I threw in 1/2 head cauliflower and 2 carrots chopped up and covered the vegies with the vegie stock I made. I added some salt and pepper and cooked until the vegies were soft. I pureed it up and yum, yum.

That's it. Short and sweet today.

I love Belief Changes!

2007-11-28T14:44:00.000-06:00

I am so excited today because after realizing my backwards thinking I was able to do a 15 minute process and clear it. It was so powerful to realize what I had been holding onto all these years and set myself free from it.

For those of you who don't know I have spent the last year and a half in a practitioners program for The Journey. This is where I learned this powerful process and so many more. It has been life changing for me and if you want to read more about it you can go to my website www.RealLivingToday

So today I had a green smoothie for breakfast. It had 2 bananas some fresh squeezed orange juice and a load of spinach. It was a vibrant green color and tasted beautiful and sweet. I couldn't even taste the spinach. If you haven't tried a green smoothie, go for it.

Mid morning I got hungry again and decided to bring out my juicer. I was listening to Mike Nash on Raw Summit 2 and he was talking about green juices so I went in the kitchen and juiced away. I used kale, spinach, apple and lemon. It tasted pretty yummy and looked great. I got a bit of headache from it so I need to do a little research to find out why. I will keep you posted.

For lunch I made the kale cole slaw again.

For dinner I had the same thing as yesterday, stew and sweet potato. I know I am a bit boring but I am trying to be cost efficient and not waste any food. It is shocking how much food you get from a head of cabbage!

I took the leftover vegetables and threw them in a pot with some water to make a vegetable stock. I will use that for the next dinner I decide to make. I plan on shopping tomorrow and preparing a new group of foods.

I really enjoyed listening to Mike Nash. He said a lot of things that make sense to me. He talked about getting in the game of health. If that means incorporating just one thing into your life that leads you to health then good for you, you are in the game. By looking at it that way it makes it easier to stay in the game and win. Makes total sense to me.

He also talked about an experiment they did with animals. There were 3 groups. Group 1 was fed the best, raw and healthy diet. Group 2 was fed the worst, most horrible processed diet. The results for these two groups were obvious. Group 1 showed signs of excellent health and group 2 showed signs of degeneration and aggressive behavior.

The cool thing is that group 3 was fed the unhealthy diet of group 2 for half the study and had the same results. Half way through they were switched to group 1's diet and by the end of the study they were showing the same results as group 1.

It just goes to show that even if we have screwed up in the past that there is still a chance to turn in around. He said that within 2 years people can get everything back in balance. Now there is some hope! He is starting a v-log where he will be sending out weekly email tips. You can check it out here .

OK, so that is it for today. I am feeling really happy and uplifted today. I am grateful for the wake up and for the opportunity to start again. Woo Hoo!

Day 2

2007-11-27T16:07:00.000-06:00

For breakfast this morning I had the leftover fruit salad that I made yesterday. That stuff is good. I only made 1/2 the recipe which I think was a mistake. I am going to have to make some more.

I had an orange for a snack

For lunch I had a delicious kale coleslaw that I found on the 30days raw site. The recipe is posted on Episode 6 and there is even a video of her making it that you can watch.

The last time I went raw I would have never made this recipe because it has miso in the dressing which isn't raw. I was very strict about it. This time I am being flexible especially in the beginning stages of this shift. I am so glad because I LoVeD, LoVeD, LoVeD this salad. It is truly yummy so check it out.

For dinner I had the second half of my moroccan stew and I had some baked sweet potato drizzled with olive oil. Oh boy is that a good winter meal. So satisfying and fulfilling.

A couple of days ago I was sick and lying in bed with a pounding headache. I couldn't sleep and I started talking to myself. "Why do you do this to yourself?" was where it started. "Why do you continue to eat such unhealthy foods that make you sick and overweight?"

The answer I got was a bit surprising to me. It was definitely a light bulb moment for me and I hope I am able to express it here in words because I struggled to explain it to my husband but here goes.

I read this book called The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The premise of the book is that the more time you spend feeling good the more you are doing what you are meant to do. They explain it as navigating a river. So often people spend so much time paddling up river in their lives with the struggles and the unhappy feelings, it is all upstream. The goal is to turn the canoe and head downstream. Relax and enjoy life and when you are doing this you know you are on the right path.

Now here is where my lightbulb moment came. I realized that my thinking was backwards when it came to what I put in my body. I guess I always felt that when I ate something unhealthy I was going downstream because it was easier or because it tasted good and gave me enjoyment.

What actually occured to me however is that it is the complete opposite. When I am eating healthy and nurturing my body I am going downstream. It may require willpower, stamina or some extra thought and planning and it is still downstream because in the end it makes me feel good about myself and it puts me on the path to a healthier physical body.

I guess maybe I should call it a "duh" moment because it is so simple. When you have a thought pattern that is unconsious, however it is very powerful. Recognizing this pattern is a good first step and now I will clear it out by doing a belief change process. Yippee! Another big step for Michelle.

Here I go!

2007-11-27T12:01:00.001-06:00

I am beginning this blog to keep track of my ongoing (and soon to be ending) battle with food. I went raw for about 4 months in the summer of 2006. I lost a good amount of weight, looked good, felt pretty good, and then I fell off the wagon.

I can remember while I was raw hearing people say that they had fallen off the raw wagon and I couldn't understand how it could happen. Well, now I know. For me it was a mixture of the cold weather approaching and the feelings I was having that I was missing out on something. I started by saying to my husband, "I will just eat a cooked meal when we go out for dinner". Then I was at a hypnotherapy class and it was cold outside so I ate cooked food that day and by the end of the week, I was off raw.

The funny thing is I didn't just go off raw and start eating a healthy cooked food diet. I went crazy! I ate processed foods, sugar, pizza, beer, anything and everything I could get my hands on. I went berserk and in the process I have gained back all my weight and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror yesterday and it scared me. My skin is dull, my face is round and I have more than one chin. I have lost that vibrant and healthy look that I had.

OK, so I screwed up. I need to deal with that and move on! Now, what to do? I am going to ease back into the raw thing. I have decided that for right now I am going to be gentle with myself. I am not up for a heavy duty detox and after listening to Sergei Boutenko on Raw Summit 2 talking about the detox symptoms being unnecessary I have decided that makes a lot of sense.

I will not rush it and I will not allow myself to feel like a frozen popsicle. I will begin by eating one cooked meal each day; something warm and comforting. I will drink tea to keep me warm. I will not punish myself for not being 100% raw. Every step I take will be a step in the right direction so I intend to take it easy and not get too freaked out about everything.

I think this is a good path for me because it isn't too radical. I tend to do things full force for a while and then I back off. This is new for me so it is an experiment. I will keep track of what I eat, how I feel and I will share any recipes I enjoy.

So here is what I ate yesterday:
For breakfast I had 2 bananas
For lunch I made a RAW cranberry cole slaw. I didn't really like it so there is no sense sharing the recipe.
I made this RAW cranberry fruit salad that was yummy. I had that for a snack. My 7 year old shared it with me.
For dinner I had COOKED Moroccan Vegetable Soup which was simply lovely.

I felt good for most of the day. I ate dinner rather early because I was so hungry. I was worried that I was going to want to eat all night long but I didn't. In fact it was probably the earliest I stopped eating in a long time. I had a cup of herbal tea about 9:00 and that was it. I am feeling excited. I think this is a good move for me!

The two recipes I will share with you are ones I got off the Internet. I didn't think I was going to be starting the blog so I am unable to give credit to the creator of the cranberry salad.

Cranberry Salad (raw) -
1 orange (grate the peel and then cut up the flesh)
2 C. cranberries chopped (I threw them in a mini food processor)
2 pears chopped
1 sweet apple chopped
1/2 cup walnuts or pecans chopped
4 ribs celery chopped (I used less cuz I am not a fan of celery)
1/2 c raisins
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
1/2 c raw honey (I didn't have any so I used a drizzle of agave)

Moroccan Vegetable Stew
by Kendra LaPreste, Massachusetts
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 small white onion, chopped
1 tbsp tomato paste
2 med. carrots, chopped chunky
14.5 oz can diced organic tomatoes
1 large pinch saffron threads (I didn't have this so I threw some turmeric in instead)
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
15 oz can cannellini or garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/2 C. peas, fresh or frozen
1/2 lb spinach, washed, stemmed and chopped

1. Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and carrots and saute until softened.
2. Add tomato paste and cook additional 3-4 minutes
3. Stir in tomatoes, saffron, red pepper flakes, cinnamon and ginger and simmer uncovered for 5 min.
4. Add beans, salt and pepper and 1 3/4 cups water, cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer about 5 min.
5. Add peas and spinach and cook uncovered another 2 minutes, just until the spinach is wilted.